Clothes, please?
by TigerRaiken
Summary: CONTINUING! Join Lie Ren as he makes chaos for his teammates with his implied shippings and gains new allies to make the world of Remnant quake before his demented mind, and hopefully not drive Pyrrha insane. Rated for swearing, and whatever else Ren can work into the mix.
1. The Confession

**A/N: Fresh from the burning flames of RWBY Volume 2 Chapter 6! I give you...a look into Ren's mind on what he thought of all this!**

**Warning: Spoilers for Chapter 6 of Volume 2. And Ren's mind.**

**I do not own RWBY or it's characters, they belong to Roosterteeth.**

* * *

'_How did it come_ this?'

Lie Ren wondered at this exact moment, clothed in only a simple pink bath towel from the waste down. Surely he didn't think, not like this. But being pulled from his most relaxing shower, and into the fray by a one team leader named Jaune Arc, he knew it was something.

Dire situations like this weren't to be interrupted. Were it anything else of little consequence, he would have told the taller male to give him a few minutes to change and be properly dressed. But being the silent over-seer of the group, he wanted to make sure nothing was out of place and everyone taken care of.

So he let Jaune drag him back to their dorm where he was seated down, with him plopping down next to him. Jaune looked over to Nora and told her to break out her headphones since 'guy time' was about to begin.

Before Ren could even utter a word of protest to at least wait for him to put clothes on, his leader began his talk.

_'And this might take a while.'_

"Ren, I'm just gonna come out and say it.."

_'Oh please god no. I didn't think my first male-on-male interaction would be you Jaune.'_

"You, are one of my best friends."

_'Oh thank god!'_

These past few months I feel like we've really bonded!" The blond having the sense of a heartfelt speech to his other male comrade.

_'We'll really bond if we washed each other's backs."_

"Eventhough...you don't say much. I mean, you're _really _quiet."

_'I have reasons. I usually say the first thing that's on my mind, got in trouble a lot when I was a kid, never happened again. I hold things in now.'_

"To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about you."

_'I heard you threw up on a ship once, does that count? Ya know, besides your prestigious family line but you are somehow the black sheep out.'_

"But darn it! I consider you to be the brother I never had!"

_'Aw, that was sweet Jaune...we would really have bonding time if we did like I said earlier. Washing each others backs. It's a sign of friendship...don't be weird man.' _But at this point the lotus warrior's eyes were beginning to dart around the room frantically to try to think of a come back that his leader was waiting for.

_'Oh geez he wants me to say something back when I wasn't really paying attention, quick, evasive maneuvers.'_

"And I you." _'There you go, good Ren.'_

"Which...is why I wanted to get your advice on...girls?"

_'You're going to stop me from getting my clothes on advice about girls?'_

"Girls?" breaking line-of-sight with his intended target to question his leader. _'Can we not have this conversation when I'm naked, please? You'll earn 5 more of my respect points back from when you shunned Pyrrha from your training session the other night._

_'Also, I don't know if you're aware, but the amazon seriously wants your d-'_

"I just..don't know how to...er-um, girls-um! I-" he heard a defeated sigh from his ramblings on trying to speak.

_'Maybe now I can just...reach...a bit further...'_

"I guess what I'm asking is..how did you and Nora..."

_'Hold up. What and me and Nora in that order?' _He had deterred from his path once again, confronted by Jaune's...startling question. Even his own quick-tongued mind couldn't formulate a saucy come back in his head. So a series of sputters and 'ums' were had until the red head in question spoke up.

_'Dammit Nora, you broke guy time rule #1!'_

She herself was unsually...nervously laughing at the situation. "We're not actually...together-together." Even that was strained coming from her.

_'Good Nora, special pancakes for you tomorrow.'_

"Nora, I said headphones on!" Jaune practically yelped at her, like a misbehaving child.

_'The AC in this room is turned up RIDICULOUSLY high, and I'm going to get sick if I don't have clothes so...' _

"Jaune, what is this really all about?" _'Be the good, caring, slightly smaller brother Ren, and getting at least some pants on and we'll be able to work this out.'_

"It's Weiss."

_'Nope, nevermind, I am now going on auto-tune while trying not to ignore you as much as possible. But still...I thought one rejection was enough?...Unless you're into that.'_

His clothes were right...FREAKING there! But being the honorable friend...brother-figure even, Ren would stay and listen...while trying to get a pair of pants.

_'I should have my own show for this. With more assassins. Oh, if everyone only knew what I really thought.'_

_'We are now entering 'Jaune-long-rant status', everyone please hold onto your air bags and strap your children in safely. It will be over shortly.'_

"Then do it."

_'Enter, one amazon that has a thirst higher than Nora's appetite for pancakes.'_

Even the silent guy-time code breaking Nora shuffled her headphones of her head for the entrance of Pyrrha.

His leader, no baffled that she was even listening in to the conversation, had no words to express what she relayed.

"Tell her exactly what you just said."

_'No Pyrrha, don't go to the dark side. You are hurting yourself more.'_

"No ridiculous schemes,"

_'Aw, but the guitar thing was my idea. you almost missed it: we were gonna break out sombreros and quesadillas like a Mariachi band. Didn't know he could play it, honestly. Thought it would be a good plan but it kinda backfired on me.' _

"No pickup lines."

_'I was going to make this harder for him but you and ruining my fun.'_

"Just...be honest."

_'If only it were you being the honest one right now.'_ This time it was Jaunes' turn to interject. Clearly surprised at the confrontation. "But...what it she-"

"Jaune. You can't get it wrong if it's the truth." Giving him the most heartwarming smile a...friend could give.

_'My heart hurts for you, more than our leader can get his thick head through about Weiss.'_

With a new resolve burning in his eyes, their blond leader leapt up from the bed and offered his thanks to Pyrrha. And the offered his thanks to Ren for so _kindly _listening.

_'Anytime!...But seriously though, when can we talk about washing each others backs_? _It could be a bonding experience of a life time!'_

Their now fearless leader left the room in a hurry to make his feelings known to the ice princess. But back to the girl in question who now sluggishly trailed her way over to her desk. She still had work to finish, and she would get it done...eventually. Nora noting her teammates distress decided to signal her in.

"Practice what you preach, Pyrrha.."

_'If I were you in this situation Pyrrha, I would have laid claim to Jaune aaaaaages ago so no potential romance of any other woman would have crossed his mind. And I think that's your Achilles Heel, you're just too nice sometimes. But alas, I am not you.'_

So caught up in the love-life, or lack there-of for his two teammates, Ren spied the surroundings of his room. The only person that kept him from dressing properly was Jaune.

_'We are now minus 1 Jaune.'_

He screamed internally for his luck.

"I can put on clothes now!"

_'Ok that wasn't internally.' _Looking over to see the two women eye him questioningly. _'Ok, quiet Ren mode: Activate'_

"I'll just go...change in the bathroom."

* * *

**A/N: I don't know what I was thinking. This was going to end differently than the episode, and was going to be serious, but then the inner monologue of Ren's mind and what he actually may be thinking began talking to me.**

**Hmmm, depending on the demand, I might make more if this and his take on other scenes he was in...**

**Hope you enjoy!**


	2. RWBY and JNPR! Assemble!

**And now...we'll take a look into Ren's mind on what he thought in "The First Step: Part 2", "The Emerald Forest: Part 1" and "Players and Pieces"**

**Also, I might change the name of this fic for something else appropriate for Ren's mind musings.**

**I Do Not Own RWBY, Roosterteeh and Monty Oum does**

* * *

_'GOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLL' _Ren's mind shouted while watching Ruby whiz past him and just railroad a small bird.

_'10 points to Ruby'_ grinning while he himself was still going at an incredibly high speed in the air.

_'I would have put on shades but blondy stole my idea.' _He had eyed her before they set off for the cliff. Seemed she knew how they were going into the initiation. But an even better idea formulated in his mind. Nora lately had subjected him to a number of very catchy songs that aired in Vale. And when Ren liked something, it usually played in the background of his mind while daily life proceeded onwards as such. So, what song was playing while being hurtled so many miles per hour through the air?

_'I'm a boss ass bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! I'm a-'_ If the sitting position of arms spread out with Stormflower in both his hands. Taking the wind to his face while his long ponytail swung in the air behind him.

_'I need to stop letting Nora convert me to genre's of music I don't even like. But damn is this catchy! It's like I don't give a fu-'_

He himself was about to end up a very unfortunate soul if he lingered any longer in his head, thinking of a last minute strategy to land safely.

_'Quick! Deploy, ah screw it yolo if I break my arm doing this.'_

It was a shot but using the extended blade from his pistols, the nearest tree was met carving a candy cane path down the tree trunk. Coming around completely unscathed brushing off his pants legs from tree bark.

_'See, a most delicate and expertly timed landing by yours truly, good thing I thought of t-'_

"WAHOOOOO!"

_'Bitch!' _Hearing the sound of explosions go off, they belonged to a one, idea stealer named Yang. Ren started to walk off in his own direction to nowhere in particular to search or relics.

_'I feel like later on, she and I are going to fight and I'll strangely be turned on awkwardly from her kicking my ass...premonition much?'_

* * *

_'And this is where I question: are they filming another Anacondas movie and I didn't know it and I've been secretly cast? Because if so, I am very disappointed I was not told. I love those movies.'_

Trying to come upon a fresh and easy meal, a King Taijitu stared down the lone warrior in the open grassy field.

_'There should be some music somewhere...while I flip through stacks of CD's in my mind...ahaha! There it is. How about we rock it to the first part Celldweller: The Last Firstborn, snakey?'_

He was met back with a loud hiss. The kin curling up into a defensive ball ready to lunge if the boy made a move. Meanwhile Ren rolled his eyes from the giant Grimm.

_'I'm making you into matching holsters for Stormflower.'_

_'After I make Nora a very fashionable purse. And some loafers...and a belt...and hat and-'_

The beast lunged forth, fangs wide open ready for the kill for the still rambling boy.

_'This can wait.'_

* * *

_'Nora + Ursa+ caffeine= my problems. 98% of that is just exclusively Nora anyway. Maybe if I had a little bit of caffeine, maybe I could keep up with her2 second plans to ride an Ursa-oh geezus Christ I can't take my eyes off of her for a second!'_

"NORA!"

"Coming Ren~"

_'I don't get paid enough to be her handler. She was mingling with the normal people and now they're questioning my sanity. Good thing I have some to spare.'_

This clearly is a good time to go introduce myself while my companion fawns over her chess piece. This would have been good until a loud yelling from the sky came crashing down upon us. A girl in red flailing for her life. That is until like a bullet to the side, a lanky blond veered her off to the side by colliding into each other.

_'It's raining men? No I don't think that's appropriate enough.'_ The trees in our surrounding area began to crumble and fall to the ground, making a way to the temple. A red-haired amazon emerged from the trees clearly running at top speed. Ren was about to question why when a giant DeathStalker practically mowed down the trees in its path to get to the girl.

_'Is this trip going to be one big expedition of movie spoofs I am not prepared for? Because now I think we're in The Mummy...or the Scorpion King, or Clash of Titans, whichever movie has a giant scorpion in it, I don't know.'_

"Can everyone just calm down for 2 seconds before something crazy happens!?" As if that wasn't bad enough, finally making his way over to introduce himself, Red Riding Hood poked the elder and pointed up to the sky.

_'Giant Nevermore...I don't have a movie reference for that.'_

"How could you leave me?!"

'_Question is: why haven't you let go yet? You like...just landed with your glyphs. I swear people with no effort in landing strategies.' _

"I said jump?"

"She's gonna fall."

"She'll be fine."

Before he could make more questions for himself, her grip must have slipped on the talon and her body started to plummet down to the ground.

"She's falling." He added in himself.

_'Correction, it's raining women. Now this is appropriate.'_

Cutting his eyes away from seeing her inevitable death from falling, the same boy from earlier emerged from the trees with a bridal carry ready and caught her in the knick of time. Some cheesy line was said and now the both of them fell so ungracefully to the ground.

The guy was first, landing on his front. Then she with not a care in the world landing on his back just looking at her nails in a bored fashion. "My hero."

"My back."

_'My back too. It hurts from the visualization just now...I think we should bond, bro.'_

And that was the moment Ren realized he wanted to be on Jaune's team.

_'There's waaaaaaaayyyyyy too many chicks here anyway. I'll need a wingman, and you'd look like the perfect dorky blond guy to fit the criteria.'_

The red head from earlier being chased by a DeathStalker had lost the amazing race and skidded to a halt in front of us from being smacked by a claw.

_'Well for your troubles miss Amazon for not winning the race but being damn close, a consolation prize of hoping you're on our team for more badassery. We're going to wreck this school year.'_

* * *

_'Sticking Nora with Jaune over there might have been a bad idea.'_

Looking over to see the 2 separated, he smiled back to Nora.

_'Hi Nora.'_

Hearing the sound of her hammer go off from the explosive trigger and Jaune yelping, Pyrrha, now that he had her name firing off dust rounds to stave the Grimm back. His own pistols were at work until 2 bodies landed ahead of them with Nora in a signature salute pose gliding through the air.

_'Bye Nora.'_

Trying to smash through the thick armour didn't work when the stinger threatened to pierce her. Using another round she shot off landed back to everyone else but just straight up knocking the black cat girl off of the ledge.

_'Have I ever told you about Nora's accidental death kills? I think we're up to 10. 37 of mine were attempted.'_

When he assumed the worst, she came back fling high into the slashing her blade along the Nevermore's back trying to work through its' tough feathers.

_'Nevermind, we're back down to 9. Meanwhile, while Charlie's Angels + 1 take down the Nevermore, they left us with the DeathStalker.'_

One of it's many eyes surveyed the teenagers before them, some especially looking down at himself.

_'Why do I have the feeling I'm about to get wrecked?'_

* * *

_'Apparently giant scorpions do not like: Blades in the eyes, or bullets trying to shoot through it's stinger. I'm paying for that right now.'_

is balance was lost when Pyrrha's blade made its way into one of its eyes and caused it to thrash wildly.

_'Crap crap crap!'_

Grip loosened, he was sent flying off to the side while Nora yell his name for concern. Oddly enough, a song came to mind with the way he was thrown.

_'I came in like a wreeeeecking ball!-'_

"Ofpmh!" And that, was the sound of Ren crashing into a broken stone wall, sliding down to the dirt from the impact.

_'Stupid...wrecking ball song...throwing me off.' _He would have gotten up but the ground beneath him was so comfortable to move just yet. The only time he did move was when his temp team demolished what was left of the bridge and landed in a line fashion.

_'I...am so much more awesome, than all of you combined. Even Nora's awesome cannot compare to mine.'_

His strength gave out on him at the wrong moment. Falling face forward with a sigh back into the ground next to Pyrrha.

_'I even land on my face better than you.'_

* * *

"Jaune Arc, Nora Valkyrie, Pyrrha Nikos, and Lie Ren."

_'That's Lie 'teh master' Ren.'_

"From this moment onward you will be known as "Team JNPR, led by, Jaune Arc."

Standing more proudly than anyone else. A glomp from Nora almost sent him off the stage.

_'Nora calm down, not in front of the kids.'_

Eyeing his new leader, he spotted Pyrrha just glow with excitement for the young man and playfully punch him in the arm. The punch being too strong for him sent him down on the stage and even the auditorium laugh at the scene. She looked back to the headmaster with the same glowing expression.

_'I ship it. I ship this hard, more than me and Nora actually, but that ship will come later.'_

* * *

**A/N: Ok, that was a bit fun.**

**I really didn't know if I should have turned this into a series or not but I DID leave it open and not complete, plus reviews are always nice. Again, I know the dance is like...the next day so that one will take time to write. R&amp;R and tell me how this works. Or ya know...prompts for Ren area always nice too.**

**Also for those of you waiting on an update for "Just A Little Bite?", still working on the actual real first chapter, and trying to acquire a beta reader so please be patient!**

**R&amp;R**

**Raiken~**


	3. Dance Dance Inebriation

**A/N: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 7 OMG. THIS FUCKING EPISODE. I NEEDED TO WRITE THIS NOW. THERE IS NO STOPPING ME. THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST PERFECTION.**

* * *

_'This dance is alright, I give it a 7 out of 10 for now. Someone needs to spike the punch though, this would be a lot more interesting.'_

The dance had arrived without a hitch in the world. Hopefully Ren and Jaune's talk bro-to-bro moment had done the blond some good.

Even now while the faithful ship of Renora tried to formal ball dance correctly. Surprisingly, Nora was very good at it...now that they had gotten past her stepping on his toes 47 times.

_'Oh you should have seen earlier, she was swinging me around like I was her prize in King Kong.'_

The more collected one of Team JNPR scanned the premises for his blond leader, but in his search, found a one Pyrrha just mildly shuffling through the other dancers on the floor.

_'Jaune, you better get out here and fix this mess. Her being sad makes me more devious, and you thought me spiking the punch bowl was going to be bad.'_

_'Oops, I just let it slip that I already spiked the drinks, fuck.'_

Nora only had slightly worried looks to pass me, she too was worried for her teammates well being.

_'And the fact that she wants our leader like a faunus in mating season.'_

It was a minute before Ren decided to answer himself.

_'Wait, how do I know that?'_

His own thoughts were interrupted by loud laughing from the main entrance hall.

_'Oh dear lord, did he actually do what he told me he was going to do about that Pyrrha thing?'_

Lo and behold, as other patrons were pushed aside, a tall, slightly more muscled Jaune...in a dress stood now before the amazon warrior. In a dress.

Now, Ren's mind was just having a wee tiny bit of trouble processing what he was seeing.

_'Jaune. In a dress.'_

Pink eyes roamed the boy over, still trying to scan for any imposter mistakes.

_'He's in. A dress.'_

Few things in this world made Lie Ren laugh, and this was close to making his crack his stone-faced demeanor. Trying so desperately to not let a tiny sound slip from his mouth.

_'Keep calm, don't look any further.'_

The brow of Rens' right eye twitched and tried not go out of function from trying to keep himself under control.

_'Facial facade failing. Ren. exe is in danger of crashing.'_

Their partners before them were now shooting questions back and forth.

"Jaune?"

Cat calls were made trying to mock his leader in a dress.

_'I'd like to_ _see you losers be able to strut in a dress. He ain't even mad bro.'_

The goofy blond only shrugged to himself with a smile. "Eh, a promise is a promise."

Then the most angelic voice of laughter was gracing his hears. Pyrrha Nikos was laughing, full on _laughing._ _'I don't think I've ever seen her happier. Well, except that one time she stumbled in on Jaune coming from a recent shower in the bathroom. I could have sworn I saw I saw her curse under her breath at not being able to see him fully in the nude whilst she still profusely apologized.'_

"Jaune! You didn't have to!" Still being overwhelmed with laughter.

"Hey, an Arc never goes back on his word."

_'If that's true I don't ever want to see you make one on whenever we're gonna play 'Never Have I Ever'_

Now confident in his own abilities to impress, he held his hand out to the blushing red head. "Now do you want to stand there and laugh at me, or do you want to dance?" His confidence breaking Pyrrha's train of thought.

_'Well damn, Arc's got some swagger in his voice now. I think he might have made Pyrrha malfunction there for 2 seconds. I now rate this dance 10 out of 10'_

"I would love to dance." Taking her leaders offered hand. When she held onto his, she let out a sound of surprise from being pulled forward into his dancing embrace.

_'Theeeeere ya go, now just relax and break out the smolder.'_

Jaune began to twirl his dance partner off to the side while a delighted squeal being swooped away by her idiot knight in shining gown.

_'Pyrrha. exe stopped working. Please contact the help desk.' _

"Ren! This. Is. HAPPENNING!"

_'Wait, I know this catchy tune that just now decided to play.'_

_'Oh dear god, she remembers. Just play it cool Ren and maybe she won't press it further.'_

"Wait, what is happening?"

He was only not entirely prepared for his energetic partner to pull him off to the dance floor with Jaune and Pyrrha.

_'Aw shitberries. I'm not buzzed enough to do this yet Nora wait-'_

Cue awesome dance music.

_'Yeah, we're totally showing up all the other teams right now. And our leader is in a dress.'_

_'LIKE A BOSS!'_

_'This would be a bad time to say We Got The Moves Like Jaeger.'_

_'We're going to be ourselves and no one's gonna stop us now!'_

_'Goddamn Jaune, you're really working that dress right now, might make Yang jealous.'_

_'I'm still curious as to how we all know how to do this in sync!'_

_'Jaune: Me, you, we're going clubbing later at some point. We'll be an awesome dance duo and we'll call outselves: Lie and Cheat. Heh heh, get it?'_

_'Alright buzzed feeling starting to affect my way of thinking, gotta slow down.'_

Now that the fiasco of Team JNPR kicking off the exciting dancing portion of the dance, Ren and Nora went back to their own goofy dancing.

"So I've been thinking."

"That's dangerous for you Nora."

"But but but hear me out!"

"Does this have anything to do with why we're boogying like it's some alternate universe 1970's disco dance?"

"No no shhhhhhHHHHHHHH!"

"Nora, the 'shhh' didn't have to get louder at the end."

"What if we.."

"If we?" Trying to get her to spill what she was trying to say. Contrary to belief, Ren was now having more fun than before, what if killer dance routines being optimal for team-bonding.

"Came out finally and said we're 'together-together'. I mean they're gonna find out sometime even if it's an over observing Jaune or you forgetting how to talk for 2 seconds to tell him now...Ren..Ren?!"

_'Ren. exe has stopped working. Please replace entire hard drive.'_

* * *

**A/N: Chapter 7 is out for sponsors but the rest of you have like almost an hour left to get the goodness that I'm talking about.**

**I NEED TO TALK ABOUT ARKOS THINGS NOW.**

**I should have mentioned this one was gonna be short. Plus, I just NEEDED to do this immediately after the episode. R&amp;R I now take prompts for Ren's mind!**

**Raiken~**


	4. Entries into the daily life

**A/N: Hiiiii. I'm back from Anime Weekend Atlanta. So in short, everyone says I'm an adorable Adam Taurus, RWBY shoot was fuuuun, and I met the most awesomest Pyrrha OMFG SHE WAS SO NICE-anyway, this takes place during the night of the last episode of Volume 1 since the official last time we saw team JNPR was the end of Forever Fall. These original ideas that happen while team JNPR is off-screen might come and go so don't expect to see the last of them just yet. But yes I am also working on other volumes episode ideas.**

* * *

_'You know, this can't be a documentary if I don't physically talk.'_

Ren sighed to himself. In front with his hands he held a new video camera he just recived from back home to let them know how he was doing. Fortunately his family knew of his sarcastic nature and actually talked more around them so anything he sent them, wouldn't be too shocking.

The red dot in the corner of the screen blinked repeatedly at the young man's face. He would have to speak sometime.

_'They need to make thoughts audibly heard because I don't talk much, but this is for family I suppose.'_

"Hi family, as you know, I'm here at Beacon: lovely place actually once you get past some of the stupid people."

_'Ah this is harder than I thought. I've grown so used to keeping my thoughts to myself that I can't make snide remarks while talking to myself anymore. Well I'm gonna make this work.'_

Trying to put on a small smile for his family, he spoke in a louder tone but only to himself.

"Now, I'm going to take you into the astounding wildlife of Beacon academy and my team where we will 'observe' some of the subjects."

_'Oh,? You thought this was going be some feelsy friendship bonding video? You thought wrong. I'm treating my teammates as if they are wild animals in some Animal Planet documentary. Well, maybe not all of the time. This is going to be fun.'_

* * *

Currently, the recording device in his hands shook violently, swaying back and forth as the cameraman Lie Ren ran for his life.

"I seemed to have stumbled upon a little one while attempting to capture it on film. It's grown attached and now seeks my attention!" He was becoming out of breath, swerving immediately to the right and finding a nearby closet. The camera being flung in any direction still continued to record from a first person view of his erratic actions. Once the door closed the darkness enveloped the screen, only the ragged breathing of Ren was heard.

Finding the switch somewhere on the back of it he turned it on the screen was immediately illuminated with Ren's face trying to take in the night vision for a second.

"As you can see, I have found a suitable...hiding spot for the time being away from the beast." Very loud thumps made their way and only Ren's eyes seemed to move over to the blackened door behind him. Apparent fear in his eyes when it seemed to get louder. He slowly looked back to the camera when it stopped. He knew he was doomed now.

"I would come up with a proper name for this species but I'm too terrified right now to do so." His speech not at all betrayed by his very calm voice he always used. "But it is out for my attention."

"REEENNN!" Suddenly the door behind him flung open letting light flood in blinding the camera for a moment with bright light. The young man on screen looked behind himself.

"Send help immediately, not really you know what I mean but-S.O.S!" Now that the camera had been adjusted, it was dropped from his grasp to land upside down on the floor from the other person in the doorway. The red light still kept blinking while the now girl behind him dragged him out by his collar.

_'Nora would ruin my recording now.'_

"You promised chocolate chip pancakes covered lateeerrr! And now it's later! So chop chop mister!" Her cheery smile that could be mistaken for craziness was always about. Ren threw his upper body out to claw the floor as an attempt to keep himself where he was.

"Nora that was an hour ago."

"Well you didn't say how much later and an hour seems like later enough so I'm declaring now later!"

_'Oum help me.'_ His fingers dug into the hard wood of the hallway he was being dragged out into the light. He looked longingly back to the camera. He figured he would have to leave it behind for now.

_'I hope the battery lasts.'_

* * *

Strolling down the corridors of Beacon, Ren walked with his camera held chest level in front of, scouting for a possible subject to film. Now that Nora had her fill and was content, she went off to go bother their fearless leader who held his place in the gym for the past hour. But at least he kept it lively and not quiet the entire time, though it would help if he wasn't trying to sound like a documentary specialist. "Beacon Academy, a lively, bustling nest full of wonderous creatures. And every single one of them is unique."

_'Unique in that I think everyone is beneath me.' _He snickered to himself. At about this time it was late at night when he strolled the halls. The point of view now switching to the camera with the red dot flashing in the middle, it caught up . Maybe he should go bother his leader and the Spartan that so _quietly _lusted after him.

_'Quietly? You could put a Beowolf inbetween them and it would just dissipate into smoke from how heated the sexual tension is.'_

Ren was trying to be the good friend, and not so bluntly tell the blonde that to his face without Pyrrha trying to wring his neck. But she would never kill a person right?

Heh heh...

_'I..I got nothing. I don't know if she'd actually do it. But considering how smitten she is with leader boy...love can make you do a lot of crazy things.'_

The camera jiggled slowly in his grasp as he looked down to the outstretched mini screen to the side so he could monitor progress.

_'I'll go visit the gym to observe more subjects.'_

"And now for something completely different."

* * *

To say this was awkward wasn't...too far off but this was also material he could use for his video to send back home. Nora was right, Jaune was here alright. Along with their female tank of the group.

Nora didn't mention Pyrrha had moved their training regimen to the gym for today. She called it 'super secret info' that from now on on Thursdays they would meet in the gym for her training to build him to a better hunter. Nora bustled with contained excitement from her spot.

Her spot, was when Ren came in and she latched herself to his back like a koala bear-wait...a _sloth _she would say.

_'Nora and sloths, I'll never understand why.'_ Ren was perfectly fine with the added weight to his back. Nora often stole piggyback rides from him when they were little, or just made him fall on all fours and say 'YYYYEEEEEEHAAAWWW'. He walked slowly around the padded floor of the gym, often used for sparring and throwing people so no one would get hurt.

Ren couldn't stop hitting the zoom button on Pyrrha and Jaune's current location at a bench with weights while Pyrrha spotted him. Both in casual workout gear. Pyrrha stripped down to a red sports bra with black shorts that ended just above her knees. For a woman of the Spartan's caliber, she maintained a defined and trim figure with visible ab muscles. Her hair in a ponytail over her shoulder overlooking Jaune and his progress.

She had given him a weight of 45 lbs to start off with. And gradually she kept adding more to it until he was no benching 85. To make sure he didn't hurt himself she kept a hand right under the bar from where his elbows bent to push back up.

"Is it happening yet Ren?!" Nora tried to silently scream into his ear, her head next to his eyeing his camera.

"Not yet." Well, now was the time to clue his family in on his 2 teammates, with cameraman style.

"This is Pyrrha Nikos, you know Mistralian warrior, all the good stuff, but she's also painfully in love with this guy..." The camera went down to the now struggling blond who panted from near exhaustion. His hair was a sweaty mess from the workout but his coach continued to drill him for more reps. "Jaune Arc, he um...isn't the sharpest to take hints, and he hasn't in our entire first semester here." _'That and he has an awkward crush on Weiss Schnee who won't even give him the time of day to say he doesn't even care about her last name. I'm not supporting this, I just wish Ice Queen would see through that.'_

Pyrrha did resemble a lion if she had a long red mane, but she was a powerful lioness. And one that sought out a specific type of prey.

The camera zoomed in more on her face, showing her obvious restraint. The glimmer in her eyes was shown as the screen panned down to the blond boy below her. Jaune was coming along nicely in his training. When Ren had arrived, the knight had already discarded his shirt aside.

_'I don't know whose idea it was to give Jaune low riding sweat pants but its making Pyrrha drool like a waterfall.'_

He made sure to angle the camera down on his unsuspecting target, grinning maniacally all the while. The blond did acquire a new set of abs for his scraggly form and beefed up juuuust a bit.

_'She's shaping him up and molding him the way she wants. I knew red-heads were demanding but this is for the better...if she can keep her hands off of him for another 3 years.' _It was then a recent plan struck his thought process.

"Nora, time for Operation: Arkos."

"WOOOO!" She screamed a bit too loud before Ren turned his head to her and shushed her quietly with a finger to his lips.

"Quietly Nora."

"Quietly!"

With that she vaulted off his back, making the lotus warrior almost collapse with camera in hand. She bounded off to the side where she knew Jaune stored his workout bag and dug through it.

_'...Don't all of you look at me like that. I'm bored, and need entertaining. And shipping these two passes the time by...my family is the same as me when it comes to humor.'_

Pyrrha had to bit her lip when she finally let up on him and he rested the weight back down on the rack. He moved to get up dragging his leg over to his side and leaned back. His lean back showcased his developing muscles, somewhat covered in sweat. His breathing making the already strained muscles to flex even further.

_'This. Is. Gold. Think I might make a killing selling this off to Pyrrha? Nah she's a teammate...special discount then.'_ Immediately panning to Pyrrha whe tried her best to not come over and touch him off handedly. But she settled with a slight walk over to him and patted his shoulder, saying he did good for today.

Ren wasn't blind to see how her hand left his skin so unwillingly.

_'Half of my entertainment here stems from these 2.'_

The camera now chose to follow back over to Nora who as the kind friend she was came up from behind Jaune and tapped his shoulder. He looked back to see an open water bottle in his face. He graciously accepted and while the hammer wielder bounded away again.

"What he doesn't know is that Nora has sabotaged that bottle by cutting it around the top. So it's about to come off." Talking back into the camera.

Sure enough when Ren popped back over to Pyrrha she herself had dumb bells in her hands and all of her motion had stopped when she looked over to their leader. _'Oh yeah this is hook, line, and sinker.' _He waited for the moment when the blond dipped his head back. Ren scrambled backward to get the perfect shot of Pyrrha and Jaune in the same frame.

As Jaune's head leaned back, the precariously topped bottle head came off and the water was dumped onto his face, and down his neck...his chest. He yelped from the surprise of something cold hitting his body, jumping up off the bench to shake his head clear.

"Aww Nora! The bottle you gave me is defective!"

Immediately the camera screen zoomed in on Pyrrha's face. All manner of emotion had left it as she stared. Except for the reddest tinge on her cheeks. Nora from the sidelines giggled from her reaction.

_'I think we might have broken her.'_

"Whoops! Sorry Jaune~!"

_'Yes, great acting Nora, top-notch 5 stars._'

"You alright there Jaune?" Ren tried to asked in his most concerned voice for his leader.

"Yeah I'm just a little wet is all, faulty water bottles." _'Yeah, faulty...let's go with that.'_

The screen went to examine every inch of jaune as he turned around, trying to inspect himself and see if any other part of himself was wet.

"Speaking of wet.."_ 'Bad Ren, you're supposed to be keeping this T rated .' _Panning back over to the tall Spartan who now with renewed vigor began pumping her dumbbells at a faster rate. Yeah she was clearly trying to think of something else at the moment.

_'Mainly taking Jaune by his waist and throwing him over her shoulder like a cave woman who found her man. A very **strong **cavewoman. Or in this case Mistralian female warrior. I hear they're known for taking charge.'_

_'Taking charge of that d-'_

"Here ya go Jaune since your last bottle broke, I got you more water!"

_'Wait, this wasn't in the plan.'_

Off camera, Jaune's voice was heard thanking her for getting some more when Ren veered the screen back onto Jaune. With his back turned, the unsuspecting blond didn't see their hyper hammer wielder practically throw one of the giant water coolers that was used to store water bottles and sports drinks. And all the of the cold water hit Jaune like a truck, letting out a high pitched yell from the freezing water. He was now thoroughly soaked through from head to toe in water and getting the padded gym floor wet.

Ren had to face palm behind the camera at Nora's added in part of the plan. Ren wanted this to be simple, but Nora liked taking the damage level to max in these types of things.

_'My fault, should have been watching her and not trying to think of ways to edit this video for Pyrrha's demise. Speaking of which...I wonder what is going through her mind right now?'_

* * *

_'GODDAMMIT!'_

* * *

_'I'm sorry Pyrrha...and yet I am not.'_

"N-N-N-Nora!? How was this supposed to help?!" The blond shivered holding himself from shivering from his muscles tensing. Being desperate, he sought out the towel on his nearby bench to dry himself off, stretching his body out so that is natural body heat would return.

_'Wait...this is better.'_

"Well you wanted more water since your last one broke. So I figured you must be really_** thirsty**_-"

_'...Ha, I get it.'_

"And what better way to quench your thirst-"

_'Ha, I need to stop laughing at the word thirst.'_

"AND cool you off at the same time with the cooler I just dunked on you!" She replied happily, having sat the now empty container down and used it as her stool. Just off screen the sound of metal bending, a squeaking sound reached everyone's ears. Ren shot the camera back over the Pyrrha who-

"Oh geez." He uttered.

In her hands the dumbbells she _was _working out with were now bent at very odd angles within her grasp. To say Pyrrha's semblance seeped out just a tiny bit was an understatement, causing the metal to hand very low and no longer in a horizontal shape. An even more flushed Pyrrha looked away from Jaune, hurriedly bending down to set aside the now useless training equipment. Jaune being the caring guy he was for his teammates, hurried over to her to look over her hands, checking to see if the metal ad hurt her any.

"The male lion, now fearful of his partners' well being rushed over to make sure if she's alright. Concern and worry while his own paws graze over hers for injuries."

_'Back to animal commentary.' _The lens focusing in on various spots of the scene before him. "You can plainly see the affectionate gaze the lioness gives in shy glances to the male, hoping that when next mating season time comes around, it would be her chance to strike, and he finally claim her as his."

The warrior raised his brow in confusion, taking the camera away from himself for a sec to just stare blankly.

_"Wow, I need to tone it down a notch.'_ Going back to the 2 predators, after Pyrrha staving Jaune off about her hands, he told her something and waved back, heading off for the showers. Ren took this time to sidle up beside Pyrrha with the camera shaking. Now facing Jaune's leaving form, Ren decided to mess with the camera for a minute, knowing Pyrrha was overlooking his shoulder. He reached to the side rewind button and played back continuously the moment the water started to roll off of his leaders' body. The rewind sound the obvious noise playing every time he turned it.

"Ren?"

"Yes Pyrrha?"

"Please stop."

"Ok." She may have said stop, but he still wasn't entirely done. Going back to recording, he zoomed in all the way to the blond's rear.

"The male lion, so majestic and graceful, watching him leave the presence of an aroused female is one that takes skill, poise, and restraint." He looked over to his teammate and saw her focused eyes. The camera lens trailed the source back to his leaders' rear. "Wouldn't you think so Pyrrha?" He knew he wouldn't get a response, she was too into it at the moment, a longing stare when the camera was trained in on her face.

He finally snapped his fingers once in front of her face. "Pyrrha!"

"Huh wha...I mean something about...French fries."

Ren couldn't help the snicker in his throat, returning to his casual demeanor. "You were ogling him like a horny school girl-which you are." She seemed to fake appreciate the psycho-analysis he gave of her, sighing to herself.

"Don't worry Pyrrha, we'll get him someday." Offering his hand on her shoulder in comfort.

"Speaking of _getting _someone."

_'Aw tofu.'_ He should have known this was coming. He did have this coming for a while since he pegged that she was after Jaune's heart. Because this wasn't the first time Nora and Ren tried to enact Operation: Arkos.

"I guess...that means I should start running, right?"

"I'll give you a 5 second head start." Crossing her arms rightfully. Just waiting for the right moment. The silence between them thickened.

"Yeah, I'll be going now."

"Bye Ren!" Nora without a care waved back to her partner in crime, without any blame.

* * *

The camera shaking viciously in his hands as he ran down the hallway. Yeah leading Pyrrha Nikos on was probably not a good idea.

"Dear Mom, Dad, everyone, I may not make it through this ordeal. A wild lioness has sniffed me out and is out for my blood-ahh!" He happened to turn the camera around him at the wrong time for the angle to show the blood-fueled Spartan hot on his tale and gaining fast.

"There's no way I can outrun her and while we've passed other very vulnerable targets *cough* Cardin *cough* she's **dead set** on me!" The scared man audibly yelled in front of the screen from narrowly escaping the lioness' grip by a hair just then.

"Oh dust I don't want to die yet!" With a final leap, tired of their chase, the Beacon student tackled the smaller man from behind. Making his camera slip from his hands and land sideways facing them. Satisfied with her catch, she grabbed a leg of his and drug him backwards. Ren knowing this was the end for him, began his final input.

"It appears I have been captured and am now being taken back to killed, then eaten." His nails did no good trying to keep from being inevitably pulled back. "Well, it's been fun this past semester with my team. As you can see we're bonding just fine. I can't say what limbs will be missing by the time she's done with me and I send you another video update, but I hope its the one that counts."

They were approaching the corner bend and soon he would disappear from sight.

"Well that's all for now, stay tuned and next time I might have a mating ritual set up-ahhh!" Pyrrha dragged him just a little bit faster and they were out of sight.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, not my best chapter, but I couldn't resist the thought of Ren having a camera and documenting their daily lives inside the JNPR room.**

**Also...I want to hug team CFVY, they need to be in their room in a giant cuddle pile sleeping their tired little heads.**

**As always Read &amp; Review, Sarcastic Ren watches you, good day everyone.**

**Raiken~**


	5. Now with added CFVY!

**A/N: Here's your freshly made crack chapter from my mind. This takes place...after the ending of Volume 2 some time.**

**I do NOT own RWBY or its characters, Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth Productions does.**

* * *

_'I. Will. Strangle him.'_

"Yeah! I know right!"

"I am glad...I decided to accompany you Jaune."

_'This greatly displeases me.'_

Why was Lie Ren displeased you ask? Well maybe because earlier in the week, a certain rabbit faunus of Team CFVY decided to ask Jaune out for an 'outing' on the weekend. His blond leader, being happy as can be accepted and would not stop stressing about it all week.

Much to the lotus warrior's displeasure. A lot of displeasure.

_'This ship, it must be burned to the ground. I don't know what to call...this yet but it must not sail.'_

His leader was out and about in Vale with Velvet Scarlatina. An upperclassmen. She was only about a year and a half older than the starting teams. But it meant she was a huntress-in-training longer than they have been. And that came with experience.

_'This is interfering with my ship. I must stop it.'_

"Ren!"

Turning to my faithful companion that decided to tag along to Vale with me. She as well had the same, dissatisfied frown on her face. Don't get us wrong! We have nothing against Faunus. It's just the fact that she's a _girl _and she's maybe interested in _Jaune_, was the problem. Nora appeared as the energetic person of the group, but she could be serious if she damn well wanted to be.

"What're we gonna do about this?" She asked in a hushed manner. The duo had cleverly hidden themselves amongst the foliage of the sidewalk to hide, well at least one of them did. Nora tried to imitate the many limbs of the tree she was trying to hide behind.

_'I am putting very much emphasis on try.' _Back to his team leader across the street-

He and Velvet strolled along the sidewalk, noticing Jaune's wild animated gestures when he talked, the girl only seemed to laugh at his jokes. The stoic warrior could only roll his eyes at his antics.

_'5 lien says this is his first date in...ever.' _Peeking out from the bushes to their next destination.

**'**_**If **we can call it that.' _Their destination led them to a gift shop of sorts. One of which made Velvet look up to Jaune expectantly. He seemed just a bit off no when his hand went to the back of his head nervously. A few words were said that Ren could not overhear before the rabbit funny went to tug on Jaune's arm to go inside.

_'Not liking this one bit.'_

"Ren? Can I break her legs?" Ah Nora, ever the supporter of a ship.

"No breaking upper classmen's legs."

"Awww." And sometimes I hated breaking her heart like that, but it was for the best lest we have the rest of Velvet's team hunting them down. Ren heard something snap above him. Poking his head out from the bush he was in, several leaves got caught in his hair when he looked up. Just in time for a familiar pink body to come crashing down on him.

"Ow."

"Sorry Ren!" Poking his head out once again, their targets had disappeared into the store. His eyes narrowed, just what possibly could be going on? As far as he knew, Velvet and Jaune had no prior interaction, 1st semester and shortly after the 'Grimm invasion' of Vale.

_'If you could even call it an invasion. Team CFVY shows up and makes us first years look like total noobs.'_

After Nora's initial fall on top of her BFF, she righted herself to have her head poking out fro the bushes as well. "What are we gonna do about this Ren?! We can't just...sit by and let this happen! Our OTP is gonna be ruined!" Nora sounded very adamant about this. And just like her partner, Ren knew it interfered with his plans of the Knight and the Spartan hooking up.

They both would not stand for this.

A plan began to formulate in his head as the gears turned.

"I know what we must do." Concluding to himself. He mangled his way out of the bushes to make back for the airship drop off. They would have to be quick about this. Though it was early in the day, who's to say how long Jaune and velvet would be in town for. Nora in his wake following along her partner.

"We can't just go up to her and let it be known there is _another. _This has to be handled delicately, and I know just the people to talk to."

* * *

A few solid raps on the door back at Beacon Academy had Ren just a tad nervous. He should have handled this mission alone rather than with Nora. Looking back to her, maybe going to their upper classmen was a bad idea?

But before he could make his decision on whether to abandon ship, the door opened to reveal a young man. Looking about a year older than then and significantly taller than he himself.

_'I should feel something about almost every male (and Pyrrha) being taller than me but that is my heritage.'_

The dark skinned male before him most notably, had his arm covered in various scars, and white eyes? Ren didn't like assuming what people were when first meeting them, it would seem rude and then you would feel like such a inconsiderate person for stating the obvious or assuming wrong and then you feel like an ass.

But Ren most definitely did not want to come right out and say-

"Ren! It's a demon! Entirely white eyes that'll steal your soul! Don't look!" Within the next few seconds Nora had latched herself onto his side and covered his eyes, making him lose his balance and fall over.

...O..k? Maybe not exactly what she was thinking but Ren knew from Nora-speak that she noted he was blind. Or was, is...dunno.

If Ren could facepalm at this exact second he would and he hoped their fellow huntsman would think nothing of it. From what he could gather after hastily getting up to offer an apology, the older man made a small smirk with the corner of his mouth that was lined with a scar.

"If you want to call it that." Ren was more surprised by the deep, raspy voice that came out. Or more of drowsy. Now leaning up against the doorframe to the first years.

"If you're here to sympathize, I'm not looking for it." Yawning now to himself. "Now what do you want?" His white pupils seemed to scan in every direction, trying to find the source of where they were standing. But Ren wouldn't keep this mans' valuable time anymore if they obviously knew he was blind.

"Fox, is it?" He final decided to speak. "We have urgent news regarding your teammate Velvet." If Ren could flee from how focused Fox's white sclera's zeroed in on him he would, so he decided to elaborate. "What I mean is 'developing' information that you and the rest of your teammates need to know."

The partially blind man could stare in the direction the voice came from with a blank stare. Slowly before his left brow rose at what was just said. Even then he yawned openly into his hand, dearly missing his sleep.

_'Is he...going to say anything?'_ Ren could keep a stone cold face for a long while but he would meet his match when his own opponent couldn't even see him.

_'That's just an unfair advantage.'_

"Fooooox! Who is it?" A female voice came out from behind him. A bit older in tone and clearly being roused from sleep. Fox turned his head to the inside of the room.

"Nothing, just trying to tell some Jehovah's witness' we don't want any."

Well that was unexpected. He turned back to Ren and Nora with a sly grin on his face. Clearly the he knew the stoic ale now look baffled.

_'Oh he's one of **these **guys.'_

"So, are you gonna tell me what you're selling or not?"

_'I think I like him, he can stay.'_ Since the attitudes were now out in the open, Ren didn't have to hold back anymore.

"Bunny girl, danger imminent, massive shipping problems, whole of Remnant explodes, this woman-" Now gesturing back to his partner in crime Nora giving a salute to him. "Hi!" enthusiastically shouting, "-breaking **_everyone's_ **legs in sight from our soap opera ending. You get my drift?" Hoping this man spoke Ren's language. While the few seconds of silence seemed to tick by while processing this situation.

"Please..." Stepping aside for the 2 to enter. "Come inside, we have matters to discuss."

* * *

"If you got a chart, I can't see that because you know...blind and all."

"But you navigate so well."

"I can see flames of aura, not outlines of people, that's about it and I got nothing. It does get me out of taking out the trash."

"Doesn't mean we can't still make you."

"You tried that one time, I ended up at a kids daycare."

"That was still fun."

"Not when the kids are pissing themselves because of some 'demon' in the daycare.'

"But you love kids."

"I'm not allowed back there."

_'What the hell am I even listening to?'_

This was the situation he found himself in once he stepped foot into CFVY's room was Coco and Fox bantering back and forth. It had a similar set up to JNPR's room, 2 sets of beds on either side of the room, decorated in what he assumed, one was girls side other was the guys side. Magenta eyes scanned over to the much larger bed than everyone elses' and could only guess who it belonged to.

_'Well I know where Yatsuhashi sleeps.'_

Speaking of him, it seemed that Ren and Nora had stumbled upon them just waking up with Coco, their fashionable leader leaning away from the giant sword wielder on his bed.

_'Were they all just sleeping together?'_

"If you're wondering if we all sleep together on the same bed, yeah that's true, mostly." The scarred man replied going back over to his awakening teammates. "You first years will understand later on the whole 'team building' exercises at a later point."

"Plus Yatsu makes the perfect pillow~." Their fashion designer leader answered from behind him. Slipping on her signature black shades for comfort when her partner plopped down beside her. "Now, formalities aside freshmen."

_'He did not just-'_

"You had something important to tell us about Velvet?" Cutting off Ren's train of thought midway.

_'Oh whatever, they are older than us. Time to break the news to them.'_

Ren knew he did not need to sugarcoat his words (as much) when dealing with upper classmen, so here it goes. "Velvet may be involved with our team leader, Jaune Arc, and that's causing complications...of our own." Looking back to his bright haired partner for support, his trajectory led to her very focused eyes trained way ahead of him. She was eyeing Yatsuhashi with an intensity a Grimm sizing up prey would look.

_'This could be trouble later, just let me hope she doesn't act on her urge now.'_ Saying a silent prayer. He coughed gently into his fist before resuming back to them. "Right now, Velvet and my team leader are out in Vale 'shopping' if you will,"

"Uh huh."

"Out together-together."

"Uh huh."

"As in maybe _dating."_

"Uh huh."

"And that interferes with the one true ship that we like to call: Arkos."

"You've lost me now." Fox replied back blandly. Turning his head to look at Coco from her next to him. She shrugged her shoulders as well, knowing full well he couldn't see that but in his own way knew she was as stumped as she was.

"Let me elaborate: Arkos as in, the fusion of Our leaders last name, and his true loves' interest last name, a miss Pyrrha Nikos." Hoping that name would ring a few bells.

"Oh yeah, the first year girl who's a Mistralian champion, hot bod, excellent grades, and word around the rumor mill is she's on the prowl for someone." Coco chimed in now that realization had dawned on her.

"That person happens to be our leader!" Nora finally added to the conversation. "But Jaune doesn't know that!" Quietly snickering to herself.

"Actually, now that I think about it," Coco summed up with her chin in hand. " Velv has been going out earlier than us for the past few days."

Well this changed things, Ren only knew about this one time the were out at this very moment.

"Then this is worst than I thought."

"Hm?" Both Coco and Fox looked up, well Fox more or less the direction of the voice, to Ren. Folding his arms across his chest and closing his eyes on thought. "We have to deter this somehow."

"Why deter it?"

Uh oh. Ren was not expecting this answer. He would at least have thought her teammates or one of them was involved with her already, but they seemed...almost willingly going along with all of this. "What, do you mean 'why'?"

"If Velv finds that Jaune guy nice enough, then why can't she date him?" The beret girl throwing his question back at him. "Who are we to stop her." Fox clued in.

"..."

"You tell him Yatsu."

_'But he didn't say anything. He hasn't said anything this entire time!'_

Ren thought he held the M.V.P for 'Most stoic face' but Yatsuhashi was clearly beating him out on this. _'I need to go back to not talking so much, everyone respected me that way.'_ But either way, Team CFVY...was backing this union? Preposterous, nothing would sink Arkos within an inch of its life! _'Well if you count the time Jaune and I were having guy time and Pyrrha willing gave advice to him to go get Weiss.'_

_'That still hurts my soul a bit but now they've made up since the dance.'_

_'Still, just saying, if I were Pyrrha, I would have taken Jaune by his scraggly blond head, drug him back to the room and made for **damn **sure he had no one else on his mind...No homo. Maybe a little. I don't know anymore, I like everyone but my Soap Opera must continue to live!'_

To much indulging in his own mind had Team CF(V)Y looking to Ren in an almost worried manner. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts. "But Pyrrha and-"

"Listen, until I see it with my own eyes, you've got no support on your 'Arkos' drama going on. But now that you mention it." Making to look at the time on her scroll, with a nod of her head, Yatsuhashi stood up and made way for the door, Fox as well. "Maybe we should go take a peek at the love birds in action." Giving Ren a small wink behind her shades. Just in passing him, he felt a small yet firm slap on his rear and tried not to 'eep' in response.

_'Everyone just violates my personal space and I clearly have no say in it.'_

While they exited, The lotus warrior could feel a strong, and deadly aura emanated from next to him.

"Now Nora, she didn't mean it." Trying to calm his counterpart down. "Instead of thinking of ways to break our senpai's legs 46 times, let's catch up and see what 'Scarlet Knight' is up to.

_'Good lord, I already thought of a ship name for them. Must amend this immediately.'_

* * *

_'I keep forgetting...I...have very low stamina.'_

The ride with Team CFVY back to Vale wasn't the problem, the problem being as soon as they landed, they sped off to anyone of the nearest gift shops in Vale in search of the couple. And chasing them down to every single one of them was a very taxing chore. At one point, Nora had to piggyback Ren he was so exhausted. The day was getting nearer to an end before they all would eventually have to go back to their dorms, but the late afternoon red sky was too promising to miss.

After 3 unsuccessful run-by's of Team CFVY's whereabouts, the duo finally found them. Off to the side partially hidden by the corner of a building while Jaune and Velvet sat outside. "Oh, you guys are just in time! It's just getting good~" Coco spied happily. Fox with no direction to look to turned for a better solution and turned his ears to their conversation.

"Speaking of which..." Eyeing said blond up and down. "Get past the slightly tacky look he has for himself at this angle, and Velv has something goin' for her." Patting Fox on the shoulder who was right below her.

"Are you sure he's not a chic?" The blind man pointed out blankly. From what he could hear, said blond sounded rather raspy in voice and just a bit squeaky. Or a very girly man.

"..." This was Yatsuhashi's silent input while staring at the subjects from afar.

"Yeah, I'll go with your word Yastu."

_'Must have some kind of silent understanding of what he's saying, because once again, I did not hear a thing.'_

Nora having finally set him down to regain his bearings. It was now Nora laid her eyes on her target from before. Eyes locked on to the 7 foot tall giant. Ren beside her just blanched and looked wasn't gonna try to fight this anymore with her. Watching her stalk up to the giant, Yatsuhashi took his eyes off of his target to look down at the much smaller girl. Nora only came up to waist just barely though. For a tense moment, aqua met cobalt black between the giants and the hammer wielder. A wild grin spreading across her face.

"Ren, look at this big ass tree!"

_'And it begins.'_

"Nora, please don't-"

"I'm gonna climb him!"

"I'm so sorry about this." Ren gave his apologies with a light bow, now that Nora had made it to the top of him and sat on his shoulders.

"I'm Queen of the castle! Kyah ha ha ha ha!"

_'And...I've lost her.'_

The other stoic, seemed to pay no mind gave a light shrug, turning back to survey his previous subjects.

_'I'm surprised he's letting her do this.'_ Meanwhile Yatsuhashi just shrugged and turned back to his intended target. For now, team CFVY had done nothing to interfere, more so watch as the events played out before them. He rolled his eyes at their senpai's antics. He half expected them to intervene like the good pack and steer their shy bunny girl away from his blond leader.

But here they were watching the 2 like it was _their _Soap Opera.

_'Where do they get off, stealing my ideas? Their entertainment must stem around Velvet more than anyone else. ' _It was then the realization hit him and his eyes widened considerably while the couple giggled at something Jaune said.

_'Oh my Oum, they're just like-'_

"Ren?"

"Pyrrha?"

Everyone trying to hide behind the bend of the building turned their heads at the same time to the Spartan clad in bronze.

_'Oh wait Pyrrha. What is she doing here, this is not good abort mission now. We are ALL about to get messed up.'_

This was the person he least of all wanted to run into while her obvious interest was out and about with another woman. Time to find a reasonable excuse. Calmly breathing to cater to his teammate. She was already trying to spy what was going on just around the corner. Emerald eyes scanning just up ahead.

"Pyrrha, now I know what this may seem like but this is surely not what it looks like." Ren tried blocking her view as best he could. But he found that a bit difficult when she was taller than him. He spied a look back to the blond and the bunny sitting with their backs to them, carelessly laughing with each other when Velvet's hand landed atop Jaunes'. And Jaune didn't seem to notice at all. "Now now Pyrrha, this _isn't what _it looks like-"

Pyrrha was known as a very calm, and _understanding _person. But touch what does not belong to you and mayhem will rise. Scanning out the targets ahead, she noticed a very familiar blond head of hair. Her heart lifted instantly, but upon seeing Velvet, the recently acquainted faunus girl they all felt sympathy for in first semester, and then kicked ass in her own team of 2nd years, lay a hand in contact with said blond, blood began to rise.

Ignoring Ren's ramblings of trying to dissuade her, she took hold of his wrist and twisted inwards, incapacitating him and cutting off his speech mid-way.

"Ow, why would you do that?!" He dropped instantly to the ground, holding his hand. She walked past them and up to team CFVY who saw the display happen. A blank face was met to all of the, like a tumble weed passing in the background. No really a tumbleweed passed through the background in silence.

"So, I take it you're Pyrrha?" Fox guessed off the top of his head. Though he could see only aura, hers shined brightly, and sort of menacingly. But why not poke more fun at this situation?

"Meet your competition." Jerking his thumb back to the unsuspecting pair. He felt his leader tap him on his bum playfully hard at instigating even more of a problem. He shrugged her off, he was used to Coco slapping everyone's ass at this point. Pyrrha veered her eyes back to the scene at hand. Jaune wildly talking to Velvet while she patiently listened to him.

"Competition, eh?" Now Pyrrha Nikos was a champion at best. A winner, and when issued a challenge. she would do her best to win and defeat all opponents. Using the word 'competition' probably wasn't the best thing to say for someone who competes in _competitions _for a living.

_'You fools! You've doomed us all!'_ Rens' inner mind spoke out. Recovering from his injury with renewed vigor. Scrambling forth to block Pyrrha's way with outstretched arms. Sure, he wanted Operation: Arkos to happen, just not with the death of someone else to accomplish it. Even Nora sensed her partner's distress and hopped to his defense.

"Now now, hold on, you're not interfering with Velvet's _date _ so long as we're here. Coco stood defensively and the two boys stood next to her threateningly. Lowering her shades to survey her reaction. A glint sparked in the Mistralian's eyes, one all of team CFY, R and N or team JNPR sweat dropped at.

"Pyrrha no!" Ren shouted, holding her back in a Full-Nelson, Nora tried to restrain her by her leg. But Pyrrha, ever vigilant, still managed to move forward. "How is she still moving!?" Nora tried to hold her ground. "I don't know but keep on it!"

Mustering all the energy he could to make a desperate attempt. "Team CFVY help or else your demise will be next!" They in all, were still confused as to what was going on. So why not make it clearer for them.

"Even if we're not on the same side right now, Pyrrha is on _no one's _at this moment!"

"..."

"Velvet's in danger!" Fox grit his teeth, Coco's shades loosened and Yatsuhashi...looked blank. Ren internally face palmed.

_'Does this guy literally show no emotion at any given situation?'_

"Velvet will not be compromised!" Fox yelled a war cry while rushing forward assisting Ren. He gave a silent thank you back to him. "This isn't for your benefit, but for mine." Ren sweat dropped. Coco's approach was slow and deliberate, reaching into her back pocket to bring out a silver glint shining in the afternoon light. "Maybe these will restrain her just right." Clinking the chained metal together.

"She has handcuffs on her at all times?"

"One rule of Coco is: Do not question why Coco carries handcuffs at all times." Fox reprimanded for good measure. The red head they were trying to restrain still managed to move forward. 2 grown men and a woman strapped to her leg.

_'Oum Pyrrha? What do you even lift bro?'_

As Coco made it closer, the cuffs in her hands began to rattle. She looked down and almost instantly, the cuffs unhooked themselves and towards both hands of Fox and Ren respectively. Not even giving them a chance to look down at what had just been done, the two were flung back and away from Pyrrha onto the ground.

"So yeah forgot to mention something else too..." Well this information would have been relevant sooner but he was pretty sure she didn't want her power broadcasted to everyone else. He felt his wrist move with Fox's, since he raised his hand up and heard the clinking of cuffs, inspecting them with sound.

"Somethin' about controlling metal I'm guessing?"

"Bingo."

Now that she was free of 2 boys, there still lay the problem of Nora attached to her leg. Ren seeing the usually calm warrior go for his partner, panicked and re-doubled his efforts in trying to restrain her. Jerking Fox along with him since they were hand-cuffed together. "Pyrrha wait!" Coco now joining into he fray since Pyrrha amped up her own resolve to get to the couple turned away from them.

From the front view of Velvet and Jaune while they chit-chatted, this looked like a very odd scene playing out behind them that usually happened in of those wacky animes with hilarious background scenes.

Velvet and Jaune talked while Pyrrha walked forward as best she could with 4 people on her. She failed on one attempt and fell forward, having the others drag her back by her legs while she clawed the ground going behind Velvet's back. She came back full force with a leap forward and all four clamored onto her back. Using her inhumane strength to make it forward. Nora was the first to come off and be thrown behind Jaune's back and the hammer-wielder zooming back to her leg.

Ok now this was just getting ridiculous.

"Yatsuhashi! Initiate maneuver G!" Fox strangled out o the silent warrior. Seeming to recognize this phrase, he staked forward just as the 5 were standing. As an automatic command, he opened his arms up and managed to hug all of them together to his chest and lifted up into a giant bear hug. Now all 5 teens were being hugged to death by a very large swordsman that said no words.

"Good work Yatsu!" If Fox could thumbs up him he would but the sound of his lungs being crushed from said bear hug with too many people was thanks enough. Pyrrha couldn't possibly break this hold now.

"Just what the heck is going on?"

Everyone in Yatsu's grasp stopped struggling to look behind the giant. There stood Jaune and Velvet, with both arms crossed.

"Oh you know a bit of reconnaissance for a future mission, training techniques, you know this one Velv!" Coco gasped out to her, gesturing to Yatsuhashi's hold he had on all of them. What no one noticed was the 1 bag in a particular persons' hands. Velvet seemed just a bit miffed at all of this. "You guys...didn't forget did you?"

At this everyone stopped moving to look at each other, even Pyrrha to everyone else from her question. When they all shook their head 'no' she sighed and tried not to blush up a storm. Jaune tried his best to calm her down with a smile.

"You first years aren't involved in this sort of thing but from second years up to seniors, we always present our partners on our respective teams with a memento from our time together." Rearing her eyes to her gentle giants eyes, Yatsuhashi immediately dropped his cargo from his height onto the ground and turned to the faunus girl. The group collectively gave groans of discomfort from being dropped on top of each other.

"You know, team bonding exercises and all?" Jaune agreed, deciding to step away from the twos' interaction. Instead walking towards Pyrrha who was recovering. "They said that the Headmaster chooses which of the partners presents their gift that year so it was Velvet's first time." Now that it seemed that all this was just a big misunderstanding maybe...

"So, what we all thought was something else completely as actually...?" The Mistralian tried to sound out to her leader. He only laughed nervously back at her situation. Trying to beat back the awkwardness shuffling his feet in front of his partner. "Velvet asked me to help her with her gift for a certain partner of hers.." Looking back over now to the blushing Velvet when she fished out her gift to Yatsuhashi. His face for the first time shows a faint blush as well coloring his cheeks, and he accepted it gratefully.

"She uh..wanted to know the things some guys like. But in the end she settled for something more homely." Pyrrha smiled at the odd duo, she couldn't possibly hold anything now that all this was just an innocent gesture for a friend.

Speaking of which...meanwhile while with Ren...

"I should have figured. Velvet did seem so ecstatic earlier in the week when leaving. So...did you get me anything Coco?"

"Of course I did, now that Velvet reminded us..." Fishing something out of her purse at Fox's side. Ren was on his other side since the two were still hand-cuffed. He still couldn't believe he was listening to this conversation happening.

"All yours Foxy~" leaning over him a bit, Fox felt just a slight pressure on the bridge of his nose and something being adjusted. "There you go." Smiling at her own work.

_'Did she just-'_

"Please tell me these aren't glasses." Sarcasm lacing his replying back. "Because you know I'm blind." Raising his left brow at her.

_'This guy has no problem at all admitting his disability.'_

She patted his shoulder playfully. "Of course not, they're shades. The best Vale's got for 600 lien, but I know the owner so special discount price, for a_ friend._" Saying that last bit in a sultry tone for her partner.

"Bitchin'." Pushing his shades back like they were glasses falling down his nose.

_'These two need their own sitcom.' _Ren shook his still shackled hand with exasperated sigh. When would they free him?

His answer lay with a jolt to the ground on his right. Looking down to the slightly cracked earth, Nora beamed with intensity, with hammer in hand at Ren.

"No one shackles Ren up but me!" With a voracious yell raising her hammer in the air to aim for his links Upon hearing Ren scream, Coco turned to see the hammer and yelled. Fox not knowing entirely what was going on and copied their screams.

"Nora, wait!"

_KABOOM!_

* * *

"Did you hear something?"

A small explosion sounded in the distance but very faintly.

"..."

"Nah, musta been my ears." Replying back to man behind them; Said the individual using their pinky finger to dig out the ear canal that may have misheard something. The red-haired individual with a bang down their right side and marked with a tattoo on the right cheek, stood impatiently, waiting for their friends. A red jacket with piano keys embroidered on the lapels throw over his shoulders rather than put on.

It was just now getting a bit dark out. The airships would stop return visits to the academy soon if they didn't hurry.

"We'd best hurry." The husky tone replied back.

"Ya ya I know." Just behind the red clad person was a much taller gentleman in darker skin tone and several tattoos lining his pectorals, arms, and just around his neck in a long white coat and green spiked hair. Piercing amber orbs looked back at his partner in a showdown. He didn't really have to say anything at all from where their eyes went down to the 2 knocked out individuals behind him.

"We can't take 'em anywhere, can we Sage?" Shrugging from the ordeal they had to go through earlier. Right now, The sleeping Sun was tossed over Sage's right shoulder, and Neptune, he had by the scruff of his collar dragging him backwards behind him.

"That's what we're here for, Scarlet." Reminding his partner of the 2 goofballs they were stuck with for a team.

Scarlet just settled with a long sigh before signaling their counterpart to follow. "Well let's go. They're not goin' to start Volume 3 without US this time!"

Sage humbly nodded and continued their track back to the airship landing area with their baggage in tow.

* * *

**A/N: Longest chapter yet? Longest chapter yet.**

**Catch the 'How to Train Your Dragon' reference of Pyrrha hurting Ren's hand?**

**And please excuse me if most of this sounds like a bunch of ramblings but I've been sick as of late and trying to get this chapter out has plagued me more ways than one. If there are spelling errors, which there probably are, I will fix them when I wake up but I'm way too tired to do so right now.**

**The appearance of Team CFVY and the missing SS' of Team SSSN finally show up as well! Yes, I was rather disappointed as well they did not show up for the finale.**

**Now lemme explain you a thing or two: Yes we all don't REALLY know yet if Fox is canonly blind or not, only by trying to tell from his entirely whited out eyes have fans been coming to the conclusion that he may be blind or partially blind from his fighting in the last episode.**

**As always, R &amp; R, they do always mean a lot to me and encourage me to write no matter if its criticism to help improve on or just you saying thanks. Now most of my work can go into "The Cowardly Lion."**

**Sincerely,**

**Raiken.**


	6. Ren and Fox interviews: Take 1

**A/N: I do NOT own RWBY or it's characters, Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth productions do.**

* * *

"Hello dear readers."

"Hello idiots."

"Fox, please, we're not even in a complete scenario right now."

"Doesn't mean I can't express how disgruntled I am with life."

Ren sighed, putting his face into his palm. "I've told you before Fox, maybe if you hadn't been 'spanking' it so much, you wouldn't be blind now."

Fox paused and stared in the general direction Ren's aura was in.

Currently the two were siting in two director style folding chairs, like being hosts of some kind of TV talk show. Ren stared back just as hard.

"Don't you even-"

Before he could finish Fox had grabbed the next director chair next to him and threw it at the stoic lotus man, effectively knocking him over. Being frazzled just the slightest, Ren stood back up and fixed his chair, hopping back in it.

"Ok I deserved that."

"Deserved what? I didn't see." Oh now Fox was just being a little shit. Ren mustered the blankest, hardest stare he could directing it at Fox who knew exactly what he was doing.

"I wish you knew how hard I was staring at you right now." Fox simply put on a very happy smiling face and waved his open hand in front of his face several times for effect. Then going back to a simple smirk.

"Very funny," deciding to give up this charade. "Anyway, we're here to discuss the continuation of this fic so aptly named "Clothes, Please."

"Why couldn't the author just make an author's note instead of putting her 2 most sarcastic interpretations of characters in a chapter to do this."

"Oh you know Raiken, always on the fly with ideas and the like." Waving his hand to the off remark.

"Wasn't this fic originally about you and Jaune getting it on?"

"Shut up, it was originally decided as a one-shot from my point of view of things from the Volume 2 episode where Jaune dragged me naked-"

"Nope, covering my ears." Placing his scared hands over his ears before Ren managed to snag an arm.

"Not that kind of way, as I was saying, Jaune dragged me as I just got out of the shower to confess his feelings-"

"This just sounds like it's getting worse by the second."

"If you let me _finish._ To confess his feelings for Weiss-"

"Ice Queen?"

"..." At the sudden pause both just momentarily stayed silent. Ren just letting the time tick by. A few more seconds ticked by before Fox tried to start it back up.

"Aren-"

"Oh."

"...Wh-"

"Uh."

"I wa-"

"Nu."

"Re-"

"Op!"

"..." The scarred man decided to stay silent now, catching on to what was happening.

"That's what you sound like every time you interrupt me." Ren triumphantly told him now that Fox stopped talking.

"I will throw another directors' chair at you, you know that right?" He threatened the smaller man. Ren minded his nails, completely disregarding Fox's threat.

"And you do know I'll trap you in a room with Nora." At his Fox visibly sweat dropped. "That's what I thought." Now idly sitting with his legs crossed.

"Now, as I was saying before Tapped-ass over here so rudely interrupted me." Fox shot a glare at Ren's direction. "This fic was originally about my inner thoughts on situations that happened around Beacon academy while Team JNPR was present. As you can see from the last 2 chapters, that premise has changed just a tiny bit and we'll add more original ideas as it strikes us. Now we can't promise every chapter will be over 5,000 words like the previous Team CFVY chapter 5-

"That's like..the most viewed chapter now compared to your documentary chapter."

"-they'll just vary from length. Along with more parody/crack than you can handle, and Team SSSN.

"Team SSSN's gonna appear?"

"Yeah yeah, some Christmas chapter...junk, mainly Sage and Scarlet since they're the real one's who haven't gotten any screen time. And especially with the addition of my blind co-pilot over here."

"Hey, being blind, making fun of your own disability as long as it's within good reason, and sarcastic is 'in' apparently."

"How do you get away with that actually?"

"Oh it's easy, especially helping Coco go shopping. Her asking me 'does this blouse look good on me?' is just priceless when I tell her 'Yes, that blue blouse looks _smashing_.' When she tells me its a red one."

"So you would say you're the havoc causer of the group?"

"5 minutes later I want to go to the restroom and she directs me straight into the women's side."

"Soooo...?"

"Nah, I'd say it's the both of us, but now Velv tags along to keep us both out of trouble." He hung his head low in defeat. Ren gave his newfound friend a comforting hand on the shoulder, understanding his plight.

"You and I are kindred spirits, good friend."

"Wait, aren't canonly you just really really really quiet all the time unless the situation calls for it?" Fox now touching other aspects of Ren's character.

"In all sense, yes, but the author had the idea one day that maybe on the inside, I just like to watch the world burn and have inner talks with myself at how stupid some people can be. I think really there are 2 of me. One that doesn't talk as much, and the _real _me that constantly converses with my other half."

"But now, Raiken has created a monster that does nothing but cause havoc for shipping his 2 teammates together."

"Hey!" Giving the older man a pointed stare. "I know you can't see me right now because you're blind and stuff, but that ship WILL sail!" Fox could feel the intensity in which his friend looked at him.

"Speaking of which, where is the Spartan? I thought she would be tearing you a new one any second now." Noting her obvious absence.

"Speaking of that..." Leaning to sit back in his chair without tipping over. He had to break the news to him some time. "We have to go bail her out."

"What?" The dark skinned male raised an eyebrow at him. "What'd she do now?" Realizing his error and cut his eyes back to Ren. "What did _you _do to her?" Voice turning to a mischievous grin.

"Well, Operation: Arkos part 36527/B in the Vale mall, did not work out as planned and seemed to infuriate her to the point of...wrecking Cardin."

"Again?"

"Again. I was using him for the sub-plot. She's in downtown Vale police office."

"Wait, if you're the cause, wouldn't she have figured it out and just wreck you as soon as you bail her out?" Just giving out his honest opinion. The stoic beside him contemplated matters for a moment before coming to another conclusion.

"On second thought, let's just let her sit there for a while and think about what she's done." Taking that time to lean back even more to rest his arms behind his head. He was at ease now, until noticing his partner's hunched over look in his chair. "Something wrong?"

"If she's in a jail cell, I may be blind but, aren't jail cells you know, made of metal?"

Ren's eyes opened dramatically at the revelation.

"Oh my fucking god..."

Of screen from the 2 a loud crash was heard. Fox visibly paled.

"This is madness!" he yelled before a female voice quickly cut in.

"THIS..IS...REMNANT!"

From the screen, Ren's chair he was occupying was violently kicked over into the air from the side, knocking Fox down with him. A very unmistakable bronze clad leg show fro the side as Pyrrha made her way onto the screen.

"Tu..tune in next time where Pyrrha hopefully won't be so emotionally repressed and taking her feelings out on me." Ren implied from off-screen with a groan.

"Her feelings hurt."

* * *

**A/N: Random ideas kept me from writing chapter 3 of "The Cowardly Lion", plus these 2 idiots were in my head and wouldn't stop. So I decided to get this out of the way so I can focus on real work.**

**Ren: What about that 2000+ word Bar AU thing that you wrote last night involving me and Jaune going out to pick up chicks?**

**A/N: Shut up! I..I didn't write that!**

**Ren: But it's sitting there in Doc manager, I'm looking right at it-**

**A/N: La la la la la!**

**A/N: Anyway, this was on my mind bothering me, had to get it out so I can focus on TCL.**

**Fox: You're just gonna procrastinate it.**

**A/N: These two...Also, be warned of changing description of this story, it'll still have CONTINUING on the front! I do read everyone's reviews and your continued support does drive me to write more often to make you guys laugh and be happy!**

**Sincerely, **

**Raiken~**


	7. Entries into the daily life: Dustmas?

**A/N: And now we will test my ability to see how much can I ramble on while juggling so many characters at once.**

**Ren: I thought you tested that when you had the team CFVY chapter. That had way more people in it than this.**

**Warning...well not really. As always this is fic is some parts crack/ some parts...you get the idea from the other chapters and occasional 4th wall breaking.**

**I do NOT own RWBY or it's characters, Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth Productions do.**

* * *

Ah Dustmas, the time of year where everyone was in the spirit of giving, the fellow man was able to help one another, and good tidings to all.

And apparently now the surroundings were very...black with a light blinking in the top right saying 'rec' in red.

"So how do I hold this thing?"

"Oh my god, who gave Fox the video camera?"

"Wasn' me."

"Not it!"

"I don't care, but it's hilarious."

"Here, give me that."

From then the sounds of movement made it to the microphone and after just a bit, the screen finally flickered white before adjusting to the face of Ren with a red Santa hat on staring back blankly at it.

"I think you broke it..."

"No I didn't." Ren shot back.

"With your face."

"...very funny Scarlet." The newest additions to Ren's trouble making crew was now the already trouble making crew of the transfer students, Team SSSN. Ren was finding Scarlet's humor to be near on par with his own. They must have been the one to sort of keep their team in line. That was when his eyes looked to the left, just off screen behind Ren was the darker skinned male of the group with various tattoos around his neck and pectorals sitting in the background.

Or maybe it was their calmer team member Sage.

_'Doesn't look like I should make him angry on a bad day.'_

But so far, he was acting like a real sport. Guiding Fox around whenever Ren would try to make his senpai look bad because he was bad. Now he was just as bad as Coco in tormenting him. Anyway, cleaning up Sun when he would messily eat his food, Comforting Scarlet when someone would forget to use the neutral pronouns for their gender.

He was almost like their team mom.

Neptune had maybe like an inch over Sage but he was bigger than the rest of his comrades.

"For all intents and purposes, I will be holding the camera."

"What is this? Action news crew or something?" Sun interjected. They had never been apart of Ren's misadventures with his video camera.

"In a way, yes. But it's Dustmas time now so I'm sending a video back home to the family." Just a light smile graced his face at the thought.

"Didn't you do this once before and Pyrrha almost maimed you?" Came the voice of Jaune from the corner, veering his camera tot he blond that was trying to set up a festive tree. Ren thought for a moment while the others eyes landed back on him.

"He's not wrong." He shrugged. Everyone else shook it off as a light threat.

"You don't understand, she's a force to be reckoned with." Fox now coming back from the land of the silent, Ren faced the camera back around the blind mans' way. Fox was wrapped in green and gold decorations that usually you would throw around the tree for extra glitter. A giggling Scarlet was the perpetrator of him being covered neck to toe. It looked like Fox was trying to focus his eyes on something ahead of him before he figured out what it was.

"You're filming me aren't you?"

"Most definitely. Besides we all know you lied about your 'sight'."

"Eh, I wanted to see how far I could get with it."

"Wait, he can actually see?!" A slightly scared Scarlet next to him looked back and forth like he wasn't the culprit for wrapping Fox up.

"No, but I can just sense that you are there. I can't tell your movements and gestures of what you're doing."

"So in a sense, you can kick out a footrest and he'll still trip over it." Ren answered politely.

"Like you made me do yesterday." Dryly answering his friend back.

"Look, I'm not saying you should let yourself being blind be a disability-"

"It _is _a disability." Reminding the blunt lotus warrior once again.

Sighing into the camera's microphone. "I'm just saying knowing it's _me_, you should expect this by now." Ending on a shot with Scarlet, still trying to put a star on top of Fox's head.

"Oh yeah just because I can sense people totally let's me get away with things. Anyway-" Getting up, he shook off all of Scarlet's hard work that was put into wrapping him in decoration to the floor like it was nothing.

"What're you losers doing today?" Everyone took mock offense to that as a collective gasp rang out. Scarlet now sad their decorations had fallen off the model.

"Besides terrorizing the animals in their festive mood?" Ren went back to national geographic profiling.

"Wait, you told me about this before." The camera closing in on Fox's face. The camera finally focused in on his target.

"The mischievous fox, known for being a trickster, and crafty at best, contemplates on how to go about his daily duties before hibernation."

"He's doing it again." Jaune added from the background. He warned them this might happen. As of right now the combined efforts of Team SSSN and the J and R of Team JNPR and the F of Team CFVY, basically, the boys, were tasked with decorating the common room in Dustmas decorations. Everyone had pulled their share, in the midst Ren constantly pranking Fox, he dug out his favored video camera from his last exploits.

"Jaune, you're ruining the fun." Making the camera pan to the blond with assorted glitter adorning his hair. "Anyway what are the 6 of you doing at school for Dustmas no less. Shouldn't you be at home for break?" might as well inquire about his 6 new victims while time allowed. It looked like Jaune would be the first to answer.

"Really? Go back home with 7...much older than me sisters who constantly play pranks? No thanks."

_'Valid answer, if I had any siblings I would relate.' _The camera moved over to the still standing Fox, no one told hi there was a camera pointed at him until Scarlet so discreetly whispered to him 'go dude'.

"Me? Go home to family? _Ha_." And that was it, that one single hollow laugh from his voice that Ren knew now for the confirmed 3rd time...they were just alike. But then again not everyone had that sense of humor like they knew and everyone else just looked to Fox with a look of wary. The screen veered off to the now sort of fuming Scarlet lazing about on the couch Fox previously occupied with their arms crossed. The lone eye that wasn't hidden by the part of red hair glared over to the camera.

"Problem child. End of story." Well that response was thick.

"You're not a problem child." A low voice came from the other side of the room. The screen changed directions quickly enough to show Sage, busy at boxing up unnecessary items they didn't need. "Your family just doesn't...understand you."

_'I have a feeling this just got serious in like 2 seconds flat.'_

"Bah, I need somthin' to make me happy, like this!" Not wanting to miss the action the blur of the camera switching back to a scene of Scarlet toppling Neptune over from the high ladder he was perched on fall over onto Jaune. Causing both noodle boys to wail helplessly colliding into each other.

"Now tha's funny!" Showing a bit of an evil yet laughing glare at their work.

_'And we're back to normal.' _Taking the spotlight away from the laughing red-head, Sun was jolly with a happy smile on his face with his tail wrapped around a small ball ornament, moving it to place on the tree. Noticing the lens now in his direction, he stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

"Eh, my friends are all here, they stayed behind, I stayed behind. 'Sides, I think Team RWBY stayed here as well."

"Well, we are all aspiring Huntsmen, we need to be ready for anything." Sage added after his leader. Ren moved his camera's focus over to Sage now who was the last to answer. It was a tense, few moments while golden eyes just stared blankly back at the lens pointed at him. Ren finally moved his head away from the camera to look at Sage himself with the same look. "Not going answer me are you?"

"I think you know the answer already."

_'This guy's good. Level-headed, always calm and in control.' _

"Anyway," This time it was Fox now making his way towards the exit. "We need to be heading out soon don't we? The girls and the rest of my team will be here. While you guys figure that out, I'm going to the restroom."

"Don' let the Dustmas ghost girl get ya!" Scarlet offered. This saying had Jaune off to the side intrigued to know more. Fox muttered something about 'you're crazy' and continued off.

"So, what's this about Dustmas ghost girl?" Jaune asked out of curiosity from recovering his fall down on Neptune. Everyone just haaaad to look at Jaune with a horrified face of not knowing this Dustmas/Halloween tragic tale. Ren saw it fit to focus in on Jaune from everyone's flabbergasted looks.

"W-what?" It was obvious Jaune didn't really know much about anything in this world, seeing as he didn't even know about Aura or semblances.

_'It's like his family kept him sheltered for 17 years of his life. Do they not want him to know anything about the world? Is it because they've been trying so hard to have a son and after 7 daughters or how ever he was born into that line that they want to protect him.'_

_'I'm thinking waaaaaayyyy to hard on one guy's life. Back to reality.'_

"Ever heard of a story where a girl was slighted out of Dustmas every year because of one boy that wouldn't leave her alone?" Sun spoke up, helping his blunette friend out. "She wasn't like other kids and only ever wanted one thing, friendship. Yet the other kids didn't like her for some odd reason."

"It's because she was mute." Scarlet finally breaking Sun's story off so they could tell the rest. "She didn' have any parents or no one to take care of 'er. Not nobody suspected she was livin' all by herself and managin' school at that."

"But wait," Now it was Jaune's turn to speak. "Wouldn't the teachers have you know like stuck up for her and figured out she wasn't able to talk?" Now everyone was just huddled together in a circle, gossiping about the Dustmas ghost.

"Nah," Scarlet let him know. "She was selectively mute, spoke to the teacher's an' all that but all quiet like, barely a whisper. Even they had a hard time understandin' her. So one boy though' she was some stuck up brat who was too good for everyone else.

"She uh, she didn't make friends like she wanted to and started to majorly dislike the guy. Like to the point of hate." Neptune explained. She only wanted friends and kindly wished to Santa every year for just a small sign of hope that maybe someone liked her." His voice low and sad.

"One year her bitterness towards the boy finally sank in and she...passed away." Sage added, now that the tone in the room had died down.

_'This turned from_ _Dustmas all the way back to Halloween real quick.' _Ren thought. To think one little girls' anger could keep her- hey wait a minute.

"What does this have to do with Dustmas?" He thought he would put out there. He was all for horror and stuff but Halloween was already past them.

"Well, the saying goes since it was this one guy that accosted her, every year now near this time, a guy who has been wrongfully picking on someone would wind up...missing." Sun added spookily with a flash of hand waving in the air. Neptune flicked his partner on the back of the head using such hand gestures.

"Buuuut, it's just a myth, no worries right?" The leader of team JNPR spoke up, nervously laughing.

_'No Jaune, you shouldn't be nervously laughing that's-'_

As the clumsy blond nervously laughed, the lights' flickered ominously.

_'...That's...always the follow-up to something bad happening.' _

"So, should we have warned Fox about that?"

"Nah he's fine, who we should really worry about is Mr. Oblivious over here." View switched to Jaune cutting from everyone then back to Ren.

"Who me?!" Asking incredulously. Oh the love-life of said blond was the talk amongst the group anytime, anywhere.

"So Jaune, do you think rebuffing a woman's interest in you is considered _bad_?"

* * *

Navigating the halls was a small success. Now that Fox's true eyesight had been revealed, he could indeed sense people if they had enough presence. But the same was still said for anything without aura, he could not see it and it would present itself as an obstacle.

But seeing as no one was present, he was in the clear. After doing his business, he relied on his own intuition to try to navigate back to the room. The scarred man strode with hands in his pockets. But he could definitely feel...something following him. Since he couldn't see behind himself, he turned quickly to face the intruder.

The presence was...faint but it was most definitely there. As much as he could look around, his dusk white pupils tried to search out the source.

"I...know you're there."

"..!"

There it was, the slight flare in someone's being. So someone was here, and tailing him. A slight misstep and someone's heel resounded in the hallway.

"Stop."

By now the mystery person was able to tell whomever they were following, was clearly blind. The man looking dead on at his target but gave no sign that he could actually see them. He still looked rather lost to be honest. When the on edge man heard a step come closer to him, he stepped backwards himself. By now, Fox had concluded that, whoever this was, the step they gave off sounded like a heel of sorts on a boot. And they made no move to attack him yet. This was a woman, a young one at that.

The young woman now knowing the young man was indeed blind, made careful steps towards him, hoping he wouldn't retract. Slowly to one of his idle hands, she lightly touched his fingers with her gloved hand. At first, he flinched from the contact. But relaxed when he felt her just keep both of her hands atop his. Fox didn't know what to feel in this moment.

"I'm guessing you...don't want to tell me your name?" He was still unsure of where to look but she was a considerable deal shorter than him, so he put his line of sight downwards. When he got no response, he felt the hands give him a slight squeeze, as if trying to convey something.

"Or...you can't at all." Finally connecting 2 and 2. She must have. been a lost student and seeing as there was no one around, she needed directions elsewhere. But not being able to talk...

"As you can probably tell, I cannot see." The evidence clear when the girl tried to wave her hand in front of his face. "I guess, we're, both just as bad at finding things." Now that he had thought about it, turning around and being so focused on her, he lost his way back to where the rest of his friends were, cursing under his breathe.

So wrapped up in his own mind, he barely felt the tug on his left hand from where the girl pulled. She had led him to a wall and placed his hand upon it. After a few seconds she took her own fingers to curl all of his fingers except for the pointer back into his palm.

_'She's trying to word something to me.'_

Slowly his own finger moved across the wall from the direction she was willing his hand to go. Making extra sure to note the spaces in between each letter. Fox at some point, was not blind, though he was most of his life, he had not forgotten what actual written letters felt like from muscle memory.

"N...e, e right? And...o. Neo...Neo, am I right?" Giving the newfound name a sound to it.

She seemed a bit excited, raising his hand up and down in a yes manner. "Well uh, Neo, do you know where the common room is? I sort of lost my way." Fox admitted he hated when he got lost because he was blind. He always made sure to give note to his surroundings.

"...!" Once again he felt a tug on his hand, hers locked with his own as the 2 walked in silence to his destination.

* * *

"Well that was fun embarrassing Jaune to no end." Ren spoke to the camera. But seriously, what was taking everyone else? He had gotten bored after the initial tormenting of Jaune and his luck with girls in search of better prey.

Namely back to his own room. He did remember he needed to tell Pyrrha to hurry up with whatever else she was doing so this party could be underway.

They could only keep Jaune occupied with eggnog for so long.

* * *

"Guys I dun wanna drink anymo-"

"Nonsense Jauney! Ya need ta relax and jus' enjoy yourself! 'Sides, you seem to spout less nonsense when you're not in the right mind." A happy Scarlet obliging the bumbling blond with more eggnog down his throat. "Hold 'em tighter Sage!" The fiery red-head demanded.

"I'm still questioning why we're doing this." But his expression betrayed one of not caring. Holding the blond in a full-nelson as per his partner's orders.

"You question this _now _after we've stuffed him with 3 glasses?" Neptune laughed at the red and green duo.

"...Good point."

"Sun, w-what are you doing?" Neptune asked the monkey faunus while they were trying to position themselves in an angle with his scroll in front of Scarlet choking Jaune with eggnog down his throat while Sage held him. Once he had it right, he snapped a shot and saved it, going back to Neptune.

"You know, Scrollchat, sent it to Yang with the headline 'You should be here now!'." Neptune simply rolled his eyes over when a light 'ding' went off. Sun went to check his phone and Yang had sent something back. Sun's face lit up like a Dustmas tree itself. Curious, his blue-haired partner snuck a peek over on his phone.

On it was Yang obviously posing for the camera off to the side with a very flustered Blake in what would be a female Santa's outfit that fit, _very_ well. The caption read 'Nah, YOU should be here.'

"Boosh?"

"Boosh."

* * *

However they were doing was up to Ren's imagination. He knew he couldn't leave the combined efforts of team SSSN and Jaune together.

_'Leave them alone long enough and they might form a K-POP group with Jaune's mad dance moves.'_

Yawning a bit to himself, the camera wobbled with every step back to his room. Maybe Pyrrha would still be studying, extra cramming you know?

_'She would be studying at a time where we can goof off and have fu-'_

He never got to finish his thought when he unlocked the door to team JNPR's room with his scroll and it opened slowly to the vision before his camera.

Team JNPR's bed room layout consisted of the beds lined up and separated 2 and 2 by a small desk near the windows. And if you entered the room, you could see whoever it was on the bed.

Currently, the strong, Spartan warrior, lay on her stomach with feet up in the air. And a familiar garb that certainly didn't belong to her wrapped around her neck. She looked in happiness and bliss with eyes closed in joy.

_'Must zoom in...'_

She seemed so at peace even when she raised a small part of the yellow scarf up to her nose to lightly sniff it. Pyrrha exhaled a delighted sigh.

The faint sound of a electronic click and flash invaded her privacy as her eyes shot open. Dread filled her as soon a she spied Ren with that cursed video camera and his own scroll in his other hand, the culprit of the flash. For moments they just stared at each other with Ren looking blank as ever and Pyrrha's eyes growing ever more creased.

It was in that moment, Lie Ren knew he fucked up.

"I fucked up." Announcing his own mistake.

_'Must send to Nora post haste!"_

Making a mad dash out of the doorway and down the hall, Pyrrha hot on his heels with Jaune's own scarf back safe in it's place.

Somehow the trained warrior expertly hit save on his phone for later usage. And he knew why she was chasing him. It wasn't because of a few weeks ago nooooo, this was because-

_'I just took a picture of her with her crush's scarf, if that isn't incriminating evidence.' _Now clearly running for his life. And she was giving him no quarter.

_'Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap.'_

Speeding down the halls with Dustmas cheer and a malevolent woman hot on his tail wasn't on his list on how this little party was supposed to go. Barely making it around a corner to the hall where the common room was.

_'If I can just make it there, maybe some of them can help hold her off, or you know, just throw Jaune at her.'_

He could see a light nearby from one of the rooms on the left. Making headway in, he dived head first into the room, or he thought so.

Once he dived in, the bright vision before him shattered like glass and he was in the dark, in a very cramped place. Crashing into various objects that scattered along the floor. Him groaning was the sign that he of course was alright but it still hurt either way.

"What the-" His thoughts were cut off from when his own magenta eyes met a pair of bi-colored ones. And from then came the most unmanly shriek ever to leave his mouth. Trying as much as possible to meld with the wall opposite the person in front of him.

"Oh, I see you've met Neo." Came the low, gravely voice of the man he knew as Fox. Looking as baffled as ever, Ren saw him come into view just outside the door from he assumed now was the utility closet. Fox walked slowly but deliberately now that he stood in the doorway of Ren's escape. Knowing the amazon was on his tail, he held up a cautious hand to signal her to stop.

"W-w-what is this, Fox?" Ren questioned, still not making himself any less un-plastered from the wall. Something was definitely up.

_'But first, this Neo person he just introduced me.'_ Silently thanking Fox for stopping Pyrrha for him, his realization came at a price when the door closed in his face, separating him from the outside. A wild grin on the dark skinned male outside.

"Oh you know, payback."

_'ding'_

That was the familiar sound of the door locking. "H-hey wait." Pyrrha now beside Fox, understood his motives as to stopping her. She smiled gratefully to her upperclassman.

"Ren won't be bothering anyone for a while. Looks like he'll be missing the Dustmas party."

_'Oh that's just low dude. But wait minute, won't he be also locking up he-'_ When Ren went to look for the girl that was inside this close same as he was, she was gone and appeared, albeit shorter next to Fox, her head barely peaking over the see-through window of the door. A small parasol in her like a cane, she looked up to the now baffled man behind the doorway.

"Ren has been a...bad boy this year, so why not make him feel as much." Fox grinned, aiming it towards Pyrrha. "I heard the commotion of you 2 coming down the hall and told my friend as such to 'trap' Ren here. He'll be missing the party where I'm sure a lot of 'debauchery' will happen. Caught on camera moments he would love to sell to the student body for a profit."

_'He knows how to press all the right buttons.' _Knowing that his camera having been damaged in the fall was now inoperable. But his saving grace had to be remembering his scroll on his person, shooting back a smile to pat hiself down for his device, it quickly turned to dread upon not finding it.

_'Where is it?! I just know I had it-' _A light tapping on the glass alerted him to look up. There through the glass was his phone in that weird tri-colored hair girls' hands was his scroll. The first reason why he shrieked upon seeing her was that she was in his personal space but now that he was just a bit acquainted with her, he could almost make the comparison of her being the ghost girl of Dustmas, she fit mostly everything!

"I'm sure Neo here will keep you excellent company. It is the start of a new year soon, why not give Pyrrha here a break for once." Seeing his job done, he motioned for Pyrrha to follow him, away from the now trapped man behind a utility closet and mute girl standing watch over him. "have fun Ren!" Oh Ren could just hear the sarcasm in Pyrrha's voice.

_'He thinks he can just keep me here? There are no locks on these doors, I just have to press the unlock button and be on my way.' _

Seeing the simple touch pad to go out, he pushed it, waiting for it to confirm in seconds.

_'dong'_

Now expecting to go out-

_'ding'_

'What?" He questioned aloud. Looking down since he had more height over the girl, sh_e _had her gloved hand on the button outside of the door.

_'Well isn't this great.'_

She seemed to notice his energy deplete and smirked back at him.

_'dong'_

_'ding'_

_'dong'_

_'ding'_

"Come on just-"

_'dong'_

_'ding'_

"I just really-"

_'dong'_

_'ding'_

_'dong'_

_'ding'_

_'dong'_

_'din-'_

_'do-'_

Now the button pressing was getting really rapid.

"Come on!"

* * *

2 hours hours later...where the party went off without a hitch and the combined powers of Team RWBY, JNP(R), CFVY, and SSSN had merriment to their hearts content. Pyrrha finally managed to talk to Jaune properly (without any meddlings) but him being full of eggnog actually slightly boosted his confidence to hold a conversation with her and even snag her under the Mistletoe. Nora totally did get that on her scroll, so did Yang...and collectively everyone who's been trying to set this up. Weiss and Sage actually struck up conversation a while ago about various dust usages in combat; Sage's own weapon , the emblem on the back of his coat allowing him to use dust in various stances depending on the crystal.

Scarlet was busy with Ruby, they both were somehow still messing with the tree with an excited Ruby atop the giant Yatsuhashi's shoulders and Scarlet handing her ornaments. Nora excitedly waving over Ruby to come and get the deliciously sweet gingerbread house before it was gone. When she scrambled off to get down, Scarlet got excited and took over Ruby's spot atop the silent mans' shoulders. While a still flustered Blake from being convinced by Yang to come to said party in a revealing Dustmas get-up, was busy being coaxed out by Coco and Velvet.

"Dude, Ren actually went missing, do you think-"

"Naahh, that story is just made up, Sun."

"But Nep' he hasn't come back yet."

"Oh just let Ren do whatever he pleases, he's in good hands, I promise." Fox interrupted to assure them.

They weren't so sure of themselves if they should even trust that.

Meanwhile...

_'di-'_

_'don-'_

_'ding'_

_'dong'_

_'di-'__'do-'_

_'di-'_

_'do-'_

_'ding'_

"DAMMIT!"

* * *

**A/N: OMG am I done?**

**Ren: You are done.**

**A/n: Oh thank merciful Oum. If there are any spelling errors, they will be fixed in the actual day time. I did say I was putting out a Christmas chapter, though if it doesn't seem so 'Christmassy' blame extreme overworkedness. That and that feeling when you have fanfics, and while writing a chapter for one fanfic, you get stumped but you really want to write for the other. Funny ting is, there were 2 versions of this I had, the other idea has long since been scrapped.**

**And yes, Neo made an appearance. Will it be her last? Who knows, but this time around she was here to help Fox and torment poor Ren. And yes, we all know the other 2 SS's of team SSSN have yet to actually speak and wholly appear. And for some reason, I like the idea of Weiss and Sage connecting, me seeing Sage as a dust-user, it may be engrained from his arm attachment to his coat. My theory anyway. If you don't have any idea to what I'm talking about, think Snow from Final Fantasy XIII.**

**I cannot say when the next chapter will be but I do hope everyone has a Happy Holidays. I released this days before Christmas mainly because of hectic holiday work week and family gatherings will be had.**

**Now, back to work on "The Cowardly Lion." That should be updated within the week. It's one of my more serious stories.**

**Ren: As always, the Author would like to thank you for your continued support of this fan-based fiction. Please Read, Favorite, Follow, and Review if you have time.**

**A/N: I do appreciate them all!**

**Sincerely, **

**Raiken**


	8. Sunset hangout and a passing

**A/N: Full Author's note at the bottom.**

**I do NOT own RWBY or its characters, they belong to Monty Oum...and RoosterTeeth Productions.**

* * *

"You know, I'm kinda surprised you haven't tried some silly plan on me and Pyrrha doesn't have you in a death rip of some sort right now."

"I have my moments of peace."

For 1 day, just one day, Lie Ren decided to actually have some quiet time between him and his blond leader of their team. Sitting on the edge of one of the lowest buildings on the school campus. They were only a mere 25 feet from the ground below which happened to be a flower bed. The sun was setting, making the sky a bright orange while the last clouds dispersed from the sky.

Usually they say staring at the sun would give you eye cancer.

_'Or some bull crap about your eyes deteriorating.'_

The real reason why the duo were out on this ledge with their legs dangling over the sides was for a calm..talk.

_'Can you believe it? I'm actually not getting Jaune into some messed up situation right now.' _No really, it was by some miracle when Fox from team CFVY came by and Ren said he was going to have a friendly chat with Jaune.

_'Oh trust me, justifying friendly is having 2 mega-sized juice boxes sipping on them quietly while watching the sunset...you'd almost think this was some plot device in a yaoi.'_

"But really Ren, whatever you may be up to, thanks for inviting me up here."

The stoic gave a sigh when he let his lips fall from the juice box. "For the last time, I'm not up to anything." Remaining calm as ever from the accusation. Jaune had a right to be fearful from Ren's excursions out into the public with Jaune and their senior Fox and sometimes the members of team SSSN. Ren may have been quiet before, but his mind was a different matter, inside was like a multitude of ideas waiting to be sprung.

_'So what do you want to play?'_

_'Monopoly-'_

_'No! Screw that game and its real life game devices that make you grow up sooner rather than later.'_

_'You mean life commitments like marriage?'_

_'That's LIFE, stupid.'_

_'You're stupid.'_

_'Crap Jaune's been talking to us for the past 2 minutes and we didn't notice, say something!'_

"Uuhhh.."

_'Oh my god I'm so dumb sometimes.'_

_'That's all of the time.'_

_"Shut up.'_

"You ok Ren?" The blodn waved his hand in front of his friend's face. "I asked where was Nora right now." Seeing his magenta eyes flicker back and forth like he didn't know what to do. The realization of an impending plan being on Ren's mind. "Wait..don't tell me-"

"Your lack of faith in me as a friend is very disturbing Jaune. " he mocked sarcastically in his face, taking another audible sip of his juice.

"Your faith in me for Halloween when I wanted you to be the X-Ray to my Vav costume was disturbing!" Jaune exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

_'I told him why that wouldn't work, Pyrrha had already made herself a female X-Ray outfit to go with blunderboy's outfit but by the time she was ready, that chick with weird eyes already made him pass out for the night...well technically it was a surprise so I **didn't **tell him Pyrrha was in wait to go with him._

_And secondly..'_

"I told you if you ever came within 10 feet of me with that thing I would feed you to an Ursa Major myself." No matter how soul-crushing his tone was to his stupefied leader. Jaune looked as if tears were about to form in his eyes. "Please stop the fake waterworks, you're going to make it rain before the sun sets." Well that was totally intentional. He stopped his outing face to just stare at Ren. Seemingly both males were frozen, then gradually, the corners of their mouths started turning upwards into grins.

Then full on laughter was heard. Ren was quieter but he laughed none the less out into the open. "You know me too much, brother." Jaune noted while wiping a small tear from his eye.

That statement made Ren stop his laughing. Of course, Jaune had mentioned said being like a brother he never had to him, but Ren being Ren, not knowing at the time what to say, thought it was just a polite way of saying 'friend.'

_'I keep forgetting he actually means that, growing up with 7 sister and all. Jaune seems like the type of guy who takes things very literal.'_

And he was right. An Arc promise was a promise as plain as day when a book that Ren had highly wanted to read that was on his wishlist _'Tales of the Wanderer' _was available at Vale's bookstore. But it being a highly sought out novel, it sold out within minutes and no matter where he had looked, he could not find it. Other sources also pointing to how the books value had gone up so much it was definitely out of his price range from it skyrocketing. Jaune seeing his 'brother' so down , made a promise to him and said he would get the book for him. Ren still forgetting Jaune's Arc promise at the dance and just how serious he was, blindly said yes. It was the first time in a long time when Jaune Arc, several days later appeared before a very shocked Ren with said book in hand looking positively run down in the middle of their dorm room.

_'I remember Nora taking exactly 63 photos of my face in 63 different angles and then posting it Oum knows everywhere.'_

_'It was a joyous occasion for her, no one has ever seen our face in a state of shock before...that is except our entire team now. I don't think Jaune remembers though, he collapsed midway trying to hand it to us.'_

_'Good, one less person knows.'_

Ren had never had this feeling before, of having a sibling since he was an only child. This feeling, he liked this feeling, though they wouldn't be brothers by blood, they would be by heart. In the midst of their merrymaking...

"Boop!"

"Hmm?" Ren felt a small pressure on top of his head. He looked up to see a very happy Nora with a finger poked in his head. "Hi Nora." Having been acknowledged, the short red made her way in between the duo which was a struggle since Jaune and Ren were sitting right next to each other. Jaune grumbled a bit and almost fell off the side of the building in her quest to move them apart.

"I'm surprised Ren doesn't have you in a hospital yet!" Stating her mind to the world positively gleaming at Jaune. He only offered a very loud straw drinking sound to her as he turned away, being fake hurt.

"Heeeyyy! I don't have a juice box!" Immediately voicing her concern. A surprising cold touch met the side of her arm and when she looked down, to see a smaller juice box pressed against her arm, offered by Ren silently. Now happy again, she took it and punched the detachable straw into the hole.

"Thanks Ren!~"

"And here _I _don't get a juice box of friendship?" Another voice came from their backs. Walking forward was the last remaining member of their team, Pyrrha Nikos. Ren turned around to the crimson red-head with a look of indifference on his face with the straw still in his mouth.

"You'll be compensated after 'you-know-what' has been infiltrated."

She smiled back to him. "And is it safe to say that 'you-know-what' will be transferred to 'you-know-who' when said matter is over?"

"Of course." Finally throwing a juice box in her direction. She caught it with a smirk while Jaune looked on in confusion. "Ok, what was that about?" Giving the two a look right as Pyrrha situated herself next to Jaune.

"An understanding." was her only reply.

_'Speaking of which, Ozpin owes me money-'_

_'Not the time! We'll discuss that later.'_

But now was a time for peace..and tranquility. The 4 of them looking off into the sunset as friends would. He almost wished this could last forever and a day. Days like this where they didn't have to fight Grimm and act like normal teenagers. He knew these times would eventually come to a close and they would be called upon again, they did sign up for this career path, it was their duty to follow it through.

_'I'm going to die from the sweetness, I need more chaotic in my life.'_

"So Jaune, did you tell Nora that right below us are the ripest blueberries for the picking for special pancakes tomorrow?" He could just see the immediate smile burning on Nora's face looking at him to have her gaze turn downwards.

"GERONIMMMOO!" And with that his own partner dove down to the bushes below. Her sliding off the edge left Jaune kind of off balance but he caught himself in time as to not fall over. When he settled, Ren looked over to Jaune and the two made eye contact for a few tense seconds.

"Well, go _help _her." The enunciation in his tone, he lightly shoved Jaune forward and his leader was sent down as well. Just before he could make the drop, Ren grabbed his juice box out of his hand. "I'll hold on to this while you do that." Making his voice loud enough for him to hear him. When he went back to his own box, he glanced towards Pyrrha. He had to do a double take from the glare he was receiving right now.

"What? Jaune's fine." To make sure he peeked over the edge. "Jaune's fine right?"

"He's fine!" Nora yelled back to him from below.

"See he's fine." Ren mustered after leaning back to the Spartan. She still eyed him warily. "What? You want pancakes too don't you?" Pyrrha couldn't lie to herself, everyone wanted pancakes when Ren made them. Finally having gotten her to understand, she too hopped off the ledge in tow after Jaune, seeing her red hair disappear over the edge.

_'Suckers.'_

Lifting back up his right hand to continue his drink. He took a couple of sips before taking the straw out of his mouth a strange look on his face.

_'Wait a minute..'_

Raising the box to his face. Clearly, this was blueberry when his own drink was the cherry one, now inspecting his left hand with his own box in hand.

_'Welp, that was Jaunes'.'_

"...Huh." Finally realizing what he'd just done. He didn't know how long it took for it to hit but it was gradually there slowly sinking.

"Eh." Brushing it off like it was noting, he stuck the same blueberry flavored drinks straw back in his mouth to continue drinking.

Today was a good day.

* * *

**A/N: I want to express my deepest sympathies to anyone feeling the passing of Monty Oum. He was a great inspiration to other animators, artists, in general. He was a great talent that as taken from the world too soon. I..wanted to present this on a happier note, but as he would say 'Keep Moving Forward'. SO I present this..shoddy piece I wrote for #CreativeForMonty. I thought I would do something creative and not present a less than chaotic chapter...that will come later.**

**I may not have known him that well but when we met at A-kon 2011 and he too expressed my love for Final Fantasy Versus XIII (which is now Final Fantasy XV), we got along quite well and well...could not stop talking about it that we often talked on fb back then. But regardless, he was a person I met, and he cared about everyone around him. And now that he's gone...well, a lot of us have been feeling the void left in its wake.**

**I wrote this quickly to do something productive besides working on the next chapter of The Cowardly Lion which should be out very soon...no seriously you can throw a chair at me for taking so long. Dragon Age: Inquisition, new patch for Final Fantasy XIV has had me well...occupied. I am still recovering from the death of my sisters' beloved dog as well who was also my dog.**

**BUT! They can never be truly forgotten as long as we keep them in memory. Right now Monty's probably outfitting the angels with customizable scythe-rifles.**

**I'll...see you all later when I update The Cowardly Lion. Go listen to your favorite song, watch your favorite Let's Play and eat something good. Until then...see you later!**

**R.I.P. Monty Oum.**


	9. Food Fight REDUX!

_'...'__=thoughts_

"..."=Talking

* * *

_'Enter some text here about how did we even get ourselves into this mess.'_

_'I think it started when Weiss was nailed in the face with a pie.'_

_'Really? That was a pie? I couldn't tell I thought her face always looked like that.'_

_'And then allllll hell broke loose. Nora started the maniacal laughing, Jaune was a simple bystander between Yang and us and I **might **have tripped him up a bit so Yang would use him as a distraction.'_

_'...'_

_'Yeah and then that back fired when Nora just threw him right back at Yang and he ended up all over the window!'_

_'It was our leader or us! I'm sure he would have gladly tripped himself in front of us for our survival like the team leader he is.'_

_'It looked like he was crying about not wanting to be apart of this.'_

_'Nonsense he's fiiiine, he even made it back to us while Nora made a castle out of the cafeteria tables.'_

_'Says the person talking to himself while we await the war Team RWBY is bringing to us.'_

_'Oh right I should probably pay attention to that.'_

_'We're going to die.'_

Ahem. Anyway back to the things happening at hand.

_'It's time for royal rumble, starring, two bombshell women, a ninja, (that's me)...and Jaune.'_

Team RWBY was about to declare their rousing pre-battle speech. Ruby stomping on the table with a carton of **Udder Satisfaction.**

_'Ok whatever milk company that actually made that name gets props.'_

"Off with their heads!" Nora shouted happily, throwing an entire table of watermelons in the direction of Team RWBY.

Ren saw Jaune's advances in performing a front flip throwing a watermelon.

_'Way to go Jaune, good for you.'_

_'You're coddling him again.'_

_'Shut up I'm trying to adlib thoughts in my head while this is happening!'_

All else vaulted melons of their own into the air when Ruby called out to Yang to take up the arm of...turkeys?

_'I swear this looks like breakfast time and not lunch or dinner, where on this world do we have turkeys for breakfast? Second, those must weight a TON, then again, Yang doesn't skip lift day.'_

Yang and Blake were busy smashing through watermelons with full on turkeys and giant servings of baguettes.

_'Are you kidding me? How old is that to be able to break through **watermelon**?'_

_'It's preeeeetty friggin strong-Uh oh, here they come, prepare the Jaune!'_

That being said, Yang flung her faithful meaty gauntlets hoping to nail someone. Jaune stumbled up onto the open path losing his balance before spotting his inevitable doom. He whispered a silent prayer before turkey number one nailed him right in the head.

_'Jaune, please dodge. For the love of-'_

Turkey two hit Jaune's upper body trying to spin himself back into balance but ultimately was thrown backwards.

_'The Jaune was not prepared properly.'_

_'And he's down for the count. I don't think Pyrrha quite liked watching her team leader be destroyed by a cooked turkey.'_

_'How do you know he could have taken on a live one.'_

Blake emerged from the air to strike Pyrrha down but she wasn't having it. The two clashed but in the end the cat faunus was pushed back with a mighty thrust the redhead aiming her lance-er, baguette straight for Yang dead on. Blondie got nailed after cutting down the remainders of flying bread their way until she was sent sprawling. Ruby coming up the aisle of tables using them as 'street' as if she were skateboarding knocking food out of the way.

_'I swear the physics sometimes baffles me.'_

The scythe skateboarder jumped in the air and batted a incoming loaf sent her back at Pyrrha for a distraction. Making her lose her focus before Ruby on her knees trying to get up to recover. Ruby hurried along and grabbed another board-er, tray and rode it into Pyrrha's face but was blocked, using her blocking to jump off of her and disorient her further.

_'Time for the offensive.'_ Rushing in after Pyrrha's defeat, he led the assault with Nora bringing up the rear. Ruby was still open and readied herself to fight them. In a last moment move, or possibly a ruse, the Schnee heiress ducked out in front of her and sprayed down the contents of a bottle of ketchup onto the floor in his path.

_'BIIIIIIttttcccchhh!' _He thought as he skidded by her.

He couldn't halt if he wanted to, slipping and finally careening to a conveniently stacked group of tables.

_'She just replaced using her dust with ketchup'_

_'-Internal screaming at food products-'_

Some how the force of him crashing into the deck of table with added comical bowling effect, flies back from where came from. Nora swinging by him from one of the banners and breaking it off from the wall. Sending a look her way that told her everything.

_'Give them hell.'_

She grinned wildly, landing and planting the end of the pole into a watermelon, resembling her own sort of hammer. She came at Ruby unexpectedly and sent her flying leaving Weiss defenseless, or so she thought. On her quick recovery, the Ice Queen brought up a pointy...

_'What on Remnant do we eat for breakfast that we have swordfish. I mean really? What poor fisherman had to brave the outside of the walls to get that for a bunch of kids in a food fight?'_

Noting all of this from his crash zone after the spill with Weiss, still trying to fix their impenetrable fortress of doom for their queen.

Back to Weiss and Nora, they were having at it, but Weiss' parrying blocks to the sheer force of Nora swinging her hammer sent her flying in a deadly blow and smashing the pillar that broke her fall. Ren looked on at the devastation she caused.

_'She'll be fine.'_

Just out of sight from afar, he saw Yang coming back full force with turkeys in hand as Ruby cried out the loss of her lover-friend. Cursing his luck with Jaune still out of the fight. Still, he rolled over the table in front of him grabbing a pair of leeks.

_'Hope these hold up well.'_

It was finally time for their final battle, issuing out great battle cries.

_'Did you remember to que the battle music when we clash?'_

_'I checked like four times already I'm sure it's going to play.'_

_'Remember she's a boxer, her best moves are with hooks and punches, she might not see a kick coming.'_

_'Yeah yeah I got it.'_

_'Are you sure?'_

_'Yes **mom**.'_

_'Don't you use that tone of voice with me young man.'_

_'Will both of you shut up I think the internal music scroll jammed!'_

**_-absolute record screech-_**

Ren's eyes widened after his and Yang's clash for about all of 3 seconds with her leg meeting his arm. A frightful stare down before they kicked it into gear Starting their bout with Ren's good reflexes.

_-blatant sound of a microphone being turned up too high and feedback noises ensue-_

_'It was at this moment that Ren knew, he fucked up.'_

_'Who let you in here with that!'_

Their fighting looked like something straight out of a kung fu movie, but Ren's apparent distress in his mind caused his slip up one too many times for Yang to strike in his open areas, sending a powerful breaking uppercut that sent him into the air.

_'How do our vitals look?'_

_'I am going to say our jaw should have definitely been broken but because physics, we're A-ok!'_

_'Initiate evasive maneuvers!'_

Having Yang think him down for the count, he turned in the air, using his only offense, flinging his only weapons hoping something would hit.

_'It did not.'_

_'It did not.'_

_'BRACE FOR IMPACT!'_

Before he knew it, Yang jumped aside from him trying a last attempt at an attack. He could have sworn she saw her wink at him, and he could have smiled back...but the impending doom of her super sonicing him into the ground so hard that he phased into it partially stopped him from that.

_'Uuuuggghh, status report?'_

_'There's lots of pain.'_

_'I think we fused with the ground for a second there.'_

_'Nope nope, down for the count.' _ Casting one last glance to Nora who had broken her subject and sent her back to where she came from. "A-avenge..me.." Ren gasped dramatically before falling flat on his face.

The two women were giving their all when they sped towards one another again to give their death blows. It looked like Yang had the upper hand until The watermelon hammer came crashing into her gut and sent her skyrocketing through the roof and into the atmosphere.

_'Have fun on the moon Yang..' _Ren thought trying to muster the energy to get up. When next he looked up, Blake was fending off Nora rather adamantly with links of sausages similar to her own weapon, making Nora dent in a Soda machine and fire off the soda cans like grenades.

_'We technically should have died back there. But we're good, we're fine, we're-'_

Having gotten the strength to get himself up, the aftermath of whatever the hell Pyrrha just did with the soda cans.

_'That's cheating.'_

_'It's called winning by semblance. None of us used ours!'_

_'Granted if we could.'_

Ruby, now with all of her teammates down for the count, kneeling down into a running stance.

_'You ever have this eerily creepy feeling that something really bad is about to happen?'_

_'You mean like in the next five seconds?'_

The small girl shot forward with her lightning speed, wrapping herself in her cloak and becoming a blur.

Ren only got up in time, and along with Jaune to see the direction of soda cans change course and be pulled with Ruby's velocity right back at them, leading to a violent swirling tornado.

_'You mean like that?'_

_'Eyup.'_

The wind picked up rather quickly inside the cafeteria, threatening to knock them off his feet. The first thing to cross his mind was tripping Jaune again just for the amusement but he was picked up by the swirling force before his leader. Maybe trying to grab onto said leader while circulating in the air was a bad idea but it was better than their bodies eventually knocking into each other. Pyrrha and Nora tried to fight the force but it was too much.

_'Magnets do have a weakness!'_

_'Shut up this isn't the time for that!'_

Ahem, all thoughts were interrupted when their backs hit the wall with various cracks from Ruby's kick back. Ren could see her from his upside down view leap out of the way from the food tornado from hell barreling at them at high speed.

_'I'm waiting for a swordfish to skewer me any moment now.'_

That moment didn't come but what did come was a lot of food coloring and smashing against Team JNPR's bodies, painting them horribly as they tried not to ingest what was being throw at them.

_'I think a piece of asparagus got in my mouth! Quick spit it out, spit it out!'_

A truly messy, devastating display of power, the silver-eyed young girl fell back down onto the ground in a neat superhero pose for her work of art. While the icky, sticky B team slid down the brightly food colored wall with a less than savory sound. After getting a good look at the wall they slid down so defeated by, Ren kind of appreciated it.

_'Frame it, put it on a wall-oh wait it is, then frame it and we're done.'_

_'Oh yes, frame our epic defeat by one 15 year old, it shall surely go down in Beacon history as the year everyone was afraid of first year students.'_

_'...Well yeah everyone kind of did clear the hall for us.'_

_'Pretty sure that was because of Nora laughing.'_

_'That too.'_

Everyone was well and accounted for, trying to manage to get up, Ruby got and courageously proclaimed Team RWBY's victory over Team JNPR. Psyching herself up with air punches and jumping up and down. Even if they had lost, Ruby rushed over and animatedly tried to talk to Jaune and Pyrrha about how cool this all was. Their happiness was short-lived when the doors slammed open and dread teacher from hell-I mean Swaggering Glynda- I MEAN, Glynda Goodwitch, growled out her discontent at this atrocious mess.

Ren had the half-second reaction to point at Nora and proclaim it all her fault but the angry teachers' reaction stopped him short with a wave of her crop, the disheveled tables and food residue painting the cafeteria began to disappear, placing every table and bench back where they belong with her semblance. The graffiti that made up of them from Ruby making them go splat began to evaporate and mend itself.

_'Aww.'_

"Children _please_, do not _play _with your _food._" Keeping a stern eye on all of the guilty parties here. Well, not all of them.

_'Too bad Yang never made it back from the moon.'_ As if on cue, Nora let out a horrendous burp that made everyone collectively fear for their lives. A loud yell and some wood breaking from above, caught their attention when a yellow blur came crashing back down from the atmosphere and into team RWBY's side.

_'I stand corrected.'_ Ren only grimaced a little when Headmaster Coffee Drinker himself showed up from behind Glynda who looked about ready to tear into all of them. Expecting a lashing punishment from Ozpin himself, he relaxed when Glynda;s mood seemed to soften. Magenta eyes roamed over his other comrades in arms and their partner-team RWBY. They had broken out in laughter from probably all the fun they just had, and maybe seeing Yang just come crashing back down to Remnant. One look over himself and he knew immediately this was going to be a long day of showering.

_'Now, how do we broach the subject of who gets to shower first?'_

_'We don't. While they're pre-occupied we should take it for ourselves.'_

_'Last time we did that without telling Nora, there were repercussions.'_

_'She did **not **care about personal space she came in anyway.'_

_'We've grown accustomed to this now gentlemen, just don't tell her important things she likes when she's in the middle of doing something important._

_'She'll streak if she has to.'_

_'Now, about that shower gents, I-'_

Next thing Ren knew when he became unfazed from his innermost thoughts talking, his eyes focused in back on the cafeteria already being emptied out of his friends. Turning to try and find them, he spied a flash of orange her going past the door, a familiar face accompanying and wildly grinning back at him. Ren zeroed in on Nora like a hawk to prey, ready to make the first step forward. She had watched his movements carefully and sped off out of the door. She yelled and he could at least make out, "RUN GUYS HE CAME BACK FROM HIS MIND TRIP EARLY! HIGH TAIL IT TO THE BATHROOM!" down the halls.

"I do not-!" Ren actually cursed aloud, but under his breath, speeding off towards the loud sound of running feet racing off to their dorms.


End file.
